You know how to take the reservation

I'm in Dallas for an HP event where I have to present some materials that I did for them to 50 of their Channel Partners (Hi, No Pressure)... and when I arrived into Dallas last night at 10:45pm I trotted right over to the rental car office to then head off to Frisco to spend a few nights with one of my best friends, Mike, who I've been friends with since 6th grade.

Anyway, I was in a line behind 4 people to then hear from the guy in the front of the line that they were "out of cars." Um...I'm sorry. Can you say that again? That's like - "Hello, welcome to McDonalds. Oh I'm sorry, we're out of burgers." The staff was way less than helpful and failed to acknowledge any of our presence. We stood there, waiting...and waiting. 15 min later, nobody is helping anybody. So I march up to what looked like the manager and said "If you're out of cars, just tell us and we'll go find one elsewhere." He just couldn't admit it outloud and kept saying "Give me 2 minutes." And then he'd go stand at the back door, looking out the window I guess hoping that Jesus would parade a fleet of Ford Borings up to the door.

I just left and went to be the first in line elsewhere to find a place that had a car. Get this. In Dallas, the rack rate for a rental car is ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS PER DAY. Can you fucking believe that? And that's not all. The combined tax and fees is FIFTY PERCENT OF THE DAY RATE. So it cost me $318 to rent a car for 2 days. THANKS BUSH-LAND.

Other than that - it was so great to finally make it to Mike's place. Got here at 12:30am... but we couldn't just go to bed. We needed to laugh so we watched a couple of segments of Triumph the Insult Dog. That character is SO fucking hilarious. My favorite line is "Bon Jovi coming back to New Jersey. That's like poop crawling back up into the butthole."

Oh - and Dallas has the CRAZIEST giant highways I've ever seen. OMG. But so far, it looks like a sea of chain restaurants, strip malls, and corporate parks. So, basically, it's a great big giant Fremont. Hope to see something better before I leave.

9 Year Old Beats Hardest Guitar Hero Level

Testing out how to embed a YouTube video into my blog. I guess it worked.
Soon, I'll be as good as this kid. Have you seen this? THIS IS CRAZY! He's SO going down after I buy it.

My Name is Dave, and I'm a Graymer..."Hello Dave!"

I just couldn't go back to the mall. I'm too old. So I went out and bought a PS2 System so I can "game" in the comfort of my own home. Yes, I'm a grey, gay, gamer... hence to be known as a Graymer. I'm sure there is a support group for me. I have to admit that I really had some personal issues around buying a gaming system at my age. I just thought I was past all that. Too old to play video games. Don't get me wrong. I had the original Pong, and the original Atari system before anyone in the neighborhood. I played it everyday. Mastered every game. But I was 12... so it seemed OK. At 41, I really didn't think I could do it. Buy a game system. But I've succumbed to the whimsy of it all. Who cares. So I'm a Graymer. Eat me!

To my surprise, when I walked in the door last night, I found 2 DDR pads and Matt and Andy sitting in the dark waiting to surprise me. Matt, the DDR junkie, couldn't resist getting the DDR game since I was getting the PS2. I got home at 10:45 and we all played DDR until after midnight. It was super fun. Andy was totally rocking it out and getting the hang of it.

I decided to get PS2 so that I could get Guitar Hero 3. But then after I realized Rock Band was a guitar, drums, and a microphone all in one...GH3 was dead to me. I MUST have Rock Band. But, finding one has been tough. Luckily Matt found 2 at Best Buy. So I'll be there after my trip to Dallas to pick it up... and of course with an additional wireless guitar for massive group fun.

I feel SO sorry for my neighbors.

Mallrats Unite

Well I spent another weekend at the mall playing Guitar Hero and DDR... with Matt, and even Andy and Diego. Was super fun. I'm now looking into buying a game system so I can play GH in the privacy of my own home. Soon, I'll be as good as this kid.

Have you seen this? THIS IS CRAZY! He's SO going down after I buy it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WZSXCKK3bU

In the garage, on a ladder, holding a drill, in my underwear

It's started. The decline of my brain. The one thing I always prided myself on was my great memory. I've always had a great memory. I could hear a phone number once and recall it months later - never having used the number at all in the interim. Now, I'll start asking a question and completely forget 3 seconds after forming the question in my head. What's going on? Is it age? Liquor abuse?

I now find myself in a strange setting - having to back track my steps to figure out how I got there. I recalled this one morning, I woke up, was getting dressed...put on my underwear and recalled that the dress socks I needed were in the dryer. As I walked towards the laundry room, I noticed the drill on the kitchen counter that I needed to put away. Perfect...cuz the dryer was in the garage. So I grab the drill and head into the garage. As I'm about to put the drill away, I remembered that a shelf in the garage had a loose screw, so I figured while I've got the drill out, might as well fix it. So I get out the ladder, climb up, and I'm now drilling a screw, up on a ladder in my underwear. I finished fixing the shelf, got down, put the ladder away and stood there thinking to myself "what was it that I was originally doing?" I couldn't remember and walked all the way back to my bedroom to continue getting dressed. I opened up the sock drawer, and thought to myself "Now where is that pair of grey socks I want to wear?"

Ah, the joys of getting older.

A bit of nonsense

So a few things... on Sunday, Matt and I went to see Juno (my review on that in a skosh) but we had some time to kill so as we were strolling through the Metreon, we went into the Sony store and, low and behold, they have built a little stage, painted black, with large plasma screens all around, where 2 people can play Guitar Hero. So... of course... guess what we did. It was us, and two 9-yr old boys, taking turns. It was SO fun. Matt did awesome. I did average...but my little fingers were flying. SO FUN. I want to buy it.

Then, we walked upstairs to find out that the new arcade, TILT, was open. Matt could smell the fumes coming from the DDR wing. Sure enough, we turned the corner and they had like 8 DDR machines. A mix of the old ones (4 pads) and the new ones (5 pads). He was ALL over trying the new version. He did pretty well but it was a trip. It was funny to see him get SO excited about all the DDR equipment. It was like a kid seeing Santa at the mall. Very cute. He's such a big kid.

Then we saw Juno! What a GREAT movie. OMG. It's charming, touching, funny, and poignant. And the soundtrack was quirky yet pefectly suited for the movie. I give the movie 9 out of 10 curled lashes. And I give the soundtrack an 8.

Then I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night with Andy and Diego. Wow - what a tortured story. If you don't know the background, an Editor of Elle magazine has a stroke and ends up completely paralyzed - except for the ability to blink. No speaking. Can't even wiggle a finger. Yet, his mind is fully functioning. Through the use of an alphabet code, he dictates his memoirs which were then published. The movie is the adaptation of his memoirs, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. A bit slow, but still very moving. Really makes you appreciate your health and the perserverance of the human spirit. It's a rental, though. No need to see on the big screen. But worth the journey. I give it 7.5 curled lashes. ;-)

I swear I don't smell

So there is a vacancy at the DeFranco Home for Gayward Boys. My latest roomy, Matt, has moved out. I'm very sad. I really enjoyed having him at the house. It's amazing how much companionship I enjoyed from him being here.

But he's got a better living gig over at Ed's place with his own partial bachelor pad... so I understand. Doesn't change how lousy it still feels. The house is very quiet. Took me a while to get used to being in the house by myself. So funny how fast you can get used to not living alone.

I truly enjoyed the 2.5 months he was here. Was great to hang out and spend some quality time together. He assured me that he didn't move because of some foul smell. So that made me feel better. :-(

"Are you always this color?"

So, the trip to Mexico was awesome. So glad we saw Mexico City and Guadalajara. I, as always, am happy to come home to San Francisco. It always makes me smile to see downtown. Like a little kid, I always say "Yeaaah, San Francisco!" and clap my hands together in short, little bursts.

Matt was nice enough to pick Don and I up - even though it took 1 hour for our luggage to show up and he had to go park at a gas station off-airport and wait for us. That was Saturday night....

Then Sunday came. It started off pleasant enough. Got a Pho at the Castro Bakery...who knew? Was slamming good. I'll be back. And then Matt and I headed to Union Square to run some errands at the Nike store and Apple store. I had to go work a beer bust fundraiser for my softball team at The Eagle. It started off fine. I set my eyelashes to "stun" and started selling raffle tickets to drunk men. Andy, Diego, Ron, and Aldrich were sweet to come and support the event. And during a nice little chat with Ron, I sneezed and heard POP!. It was my rib. I froze. In pain. Got weak. Had to hold onto the wall. Ron went and got Andy. I couldn't move. I think the rib pain I had been feeling the past 4 days was most likely just a hairline crack...but that sneeze just blew it out da box. I fractured it.

Andy and Diego drove me home and then Chant took me to the ER. He brought his Nintendo DS cuz you just never know how long you'll be there. The staff was great. Got in pretty quick. Took xrays, did an EKG (not sure why... I think that's just so my bill will be larger). And then we waited...for the xray results. During my exam, the doctor pulled down the charming gown and was looking at my chest and arms and said, "Are you always this color? All flushed?" Nice. Kick me when I'm down. Why don't you just ask me if I'm always this fat too? YES - I'm a pale, overweight, balding, middle-aged man with backhair! NOW GO GET MY XRAY RESULTS!!!!"

Turns out I did fracture my rib. He said there may even be 2 ribs fractured but xrays are hard to tell for sure. No treatment. Just rest. 4-6 weeks to heal. But they gave me a shot of Dilaudid... YIPPIE!!! That made me feel so much better. Unfortunately the prescription for Percoset was less impressive after the Dilaudid wore off. I'm going to start chopping the Percoset up and doing lines on my coffee table.

So I guess the moral of the story is... Tan before going to the ER in the Castro...

We found a little California in Mexico

So last night for my birthday celebration, we started the evening by grabbing a drink at a bar called "California". FINALLY - a bar with people in it. We immediately liked it cuz they were playing 80s music videos. When's the last time you saw the "Mr. Roboto" video, eh? Aw... don't be jealous. And after a few drinks we were having such a good time that we decided to ditch going out for a big meal and we decided to stay and PARTY the whole night. It was a lot of fun. At one point we thought we'd try a few other places - one was a big club with a drag show - and although the drag queen was really good - the space was huge and practically empty. So we ditched that place and headed east to a club we'd heard a lot about called Monica's. And, gee, guess what. Nobody was there either. I swear we just don't have luck with bars and clubs in Latin American countries... so we walked right out and headed back to "California" where we knew people were. We started chatting with these 2 guys, Adrian and, um, Adrian's friend. Nice guys. It was fun. The one thing that bars here do that is SO civilized - they serve little plates of snacks. They put out this platter of cucumbers and jicama. So nice. And so needed cuz if you recall we ditched dinner and DRANK for the next 4 hours. I guess cucumbers and jicama really can't replace a slice of Nizarro's - but it did in a pinch.

Fast forward to this morning. All of us hung over. We didn't really do anything much today other than head right back to that slamming Goat Stew place (The Birrieria pictured here) for some spicy hangover helper. Got a haircut and on the way back to the hotel - saw this picture of a local news team on the side of a van. Hi, Oompaloompa. Tan much?

Tonight is our last night of vacation. We're off for a repeat performance of last night. With all the storms in SF - I'm curious if we'll even be able to get home. I hope so.

Tuh-Laka-Pakee (Tlaquepaque)

So... during this whole trip I've been dealing with the flu. Throughout the trip, I've had a pretty bad cough. Well, my rib cage started to hurt when I coughed, and when I woke up today, the pain was there even while I wasn't coughing. So I got online and did some eMedical research and I think I've cracked/fractured a rib from coughing. In fact, one website said that 1 of 3 causes for cracking a rib is "a coughing incident at high altitudes" and um... I've been at 7,300 feet this whole time. So - I think that's what has happened. Oh well... Happy fucking birthday to me!

Today we hopped onto the open-air bus and went to the neighboring town of Tlaquepaque. It's kinda like Carmel in Mexico. Charming shops and awesome old buildings focused mostly on furniture and home furnishings. Tonight to celebrate my birthday we're going to dinner at what we've heard is THE best Mexican restaurant in Guadalajara called Sacromonte. Can't wait.

Miercolazy Day

Today we took a leisurely stroll around town checking out different neighborhoods around the historic centro. We found some interesting buildings, a corner roof top covered in mariachi statues, and a picture of Whinnie-the-Pooh. Cute. We went to an authentic Birrieria de Chivo (Goat Stew) place for lunch. It was SO slamming good. But the funniest thing I saw today was this mascot for a pharmacy of all things. Click play and watch him work out his moves all over the corner. We went in and bought stuff, so I guess it worked.

DDR in GDL

Nothing was open today, but we found a mall that was. We stumbled upon the arcade that had a DDR machine. But the place was PACKED and I was too embarassed to do it - but Wilma wasn't. So he climbed on to this BRAND NEW machine but we weren't familiar with the interface so he just picked a song - it started - and it was sooo crazy fast that after 3 seconds he jumped off and told some other kid to finish the game. The other weird thing was that the foot pads were totally different. These had 5 pads - 1 in each corner and one in the center. We are used to the 4-pads-in-a-plus configuration. We're old school.

Check out how fast these guys were dancing...

Jesus de Maize

Gotta love a life-size nativity scene made completely out of corn husks. Viva la Mexico.

First Day in Guadalacucaracha

It took us like 35 minutes to fly from Mex City to Guadalajara so it was a pretty seamless pop-over to get from MEX to GDL. We got a hotel smack dab right in the middle of the historic center so we're walking distance to all the old charming sights. This picture is actually the view from our hotel room.

Last night was New Year's Eve. We started the eve at a little bar named La Priscilina where we befriended the owner, Carlo, who sat down with us and gave us his pick-list for restaurants around town. Sweet guy. After 2 rounds with Carlo, we went to what is considered the most "posh" restaurant in GDL, called "Nude". It was this super chic restaurant with big nude paintings around the place - how dirty. There was live band and we ate and drank like piggies so we called it a night around 1am and headed for the hotel.

It's New Year's Day today, so nothing will be open but we're going to stroll around some posh neighborhoods. This pic is the front of the cathedral. Pretty cool.