Kids, Don't Try this at Home

What is this, you ask? That would be a Trader Joe's Frozen Pizza after cooking for 2 hours at 450 degrees. Yes... 2 hours.

After a nice evening out with Andy, Don, and Darkness, I anxiously anticipated eating this frozen pizza when I arrived home. Mmmm... what a perfect snack before heading to bed. I preheated the oven. Popped in the pizza and set the timer for 10 minutes, and sat on the sofa and started watching The Soup on TiVo. How quick! A frozen pizza ready to eat in 10 minutes. I can't wait!

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! blasts into my subconscious and drags me out of my slumber. I open my eyes to hear not the oven timer - but both of my fire alarms - SCREAMING at me to wake the fuck up.

I jump up off the sofa and run into the kitchen to find smoke billowing out of the oven. I look up and smoke has filled the ceiling. I open the oven door to find that my pizza is now a charcoal frisbee. I frantically begin opening all the windows. Turn the vent on. Open the back door. Open the front door. Grab a hand towel and start fanning it in front of the alarms so they'll shut the hell up.

Smoke covers the ceilings of every room in my house. I turn on a fan and point it into each room to move the smoke towards the windows. It surprisingly works.

I can't believe I almost burnt the house down. Nice move.

Note to self: cold, pre-prepared, or microwave-only snacks attempted prior to bedtime.

Blasts from the past

At work, we had everybody bring in pics of themselves when we were babies through our high school years. They scanned them and printed them out so we could write bitchy comments. It was fun. They sent us our scanned images - and I thought - why not let you all write bitchy comments too? So here you go! Have at it! I predict a lot of "hair" comments coming my way...

It's quite topical...like a rash

I noticed that many people on Facebook made it a point to change their "STATUS UPDATE" commenting on today's auspicious supreme court ruling. I've captured as many as I could find to commemorate what a historic day this is - for gay people and for equal rights. Enjoy!

"...is available for marriage. apply now! I AM SO HAPPY!!!! Thank you San Francisco!"

"...wants a wedding in a big church with bridemaids and flower girls...! (In honor of the California Supreme Court)."

"...is just going to have to get married now!!!"

"...is listening to people on the streets of SF from my office celebrating the CA court ruling. Wahoo!"

"...is is excited about getting married....AGAIN."

"...says The court has spoken ... where's my ring?"

"...is wondering who from this group is getting married first?"

"...celebrates social justice today!"

"...is amazed by the amount of media in the castro- the gay marriage bill passed in California."

"...I can now get married. Which means it's a conscious choice when I don't. D'oh."

"...is Woot! California does it again! yay!"

"...wants to marry some guy. Now."

"is thinking...would it be tacky to wear white?"

"...is happy! CA Supreme Court overturned the Ban On Same Sex Marriage!"

"...Cafe Flore is having a Gay Marriage Drink Special: Sex on the Beach $5. As if married people have sex on the beach."

"...is recently divorced, so fuck marriage."

"...YAY! WE won, YOU lost."

"...is gay merry-ed."

"...is saying...YAY! for the marriage ruling."

"...is celebrating our WIN against oppression!! Gay marriage in Cali, BITCHES!! ... and, no, I won't marry you just 'cuz I can ;)."

"...is jumping up and down, cheering all LGBTQ!!! LETS GET MARRIED!!!!"

"...is shocked the CA Courts did the right thing!"

"...is happy; first from dad calling and now having the right to marry. Now i just gotta find a man to stick around long enough to propose ;-)."

"...jumps in excitement: I CAN GET MARRIED NOW!!!! I love California - this is monumental!"

"...says my gf just agreed to marry me....for real this time!"

"...COULD get married, now. The human race steps forward."

"...is challenging his friends to defeat the gay marriage ban in November."

"...thinks that he is suddenly going to be deluged with wedding invitations."

"...wonders if his presence in a state triggers legalization of same sex marriage. If so, how quickly can he move from state to state?"

"...is happy that California is ending marriage discrimination."

Eric Bana... look out!

So to balance my yesterday's wine with a little cheese, on a really positive note, my weight control project has been moving along with good success. I'm probably about 2 weeks away from buying myself a brand new pair of 36" jeans... and when I started this weight loss project 2 months ago, I was snuggly stuffed into 40". So overall, I'd say things are going pretty well. Since I can't lift weights with my arms, I've continued to do aggressive leg workouts and a shitload of cardio. So I won't have guns of steel...but I'll have buns of steel.

Last night as I was walking down 18th Street to meet with friends, a casual acquaintance that I see out and about often stopped me on the street to compliment me on my weight loss. So that was a really great way to start the evening.

Oh yes, Eric Bana... it's ON!

Silk...and off the shoulder

That will be what my sling is made of for my reoccuring rotator cuff problem! ARGH! I had to quit the softball team this week. My rotator cuff melodrama is back and I'm no longer able to play softball this season - or continue to lift weights - which is the culprit of this medical sequel.

A quick visit to the Orthopedic Surgeon turned up a verdict that I have just aggrevated it. So still not bad enough for surgery. But it's keeping me from doing stuff, which is the shitty part.

He wants me to overdose on Motrin for a while to see if that helps. If not - it's another Cortisone shot.

Ah...turning 40 has been super special. Preesh, nature!

Potty Humor at its Best

I swear...it doesn't matter how old or mature I get...farts are STILL hilarious! Sorry I couldn't embed the video - but watch this video if you're cool with potty humor...

http://www.jibjab.com/view/2581

All I can say is "WOW"!!

This is really impressive... and beautiful.

Sad AND happy... but mostly sad

I'm a tossed salad of emotions this week. Chant got a job in Santa Monica and moves tomorrow. Boo. We've become super close friends over the last 6 months and although I'm SO excited that he found a job that is exactly what he's been looking for - I'm SO sad that he's moving away.

I have to admit that I'm more sad than happy. Sounds selfish - but it's the truth. Having a hard time to be happy for him when I'm sad about yet ANOTHER close friend moving away. It will all be fine and dandy soon enough. But for right now I'm staring at a huge plate full of sad... with a sidedish of happy.

We had a going away party for him last night. About 25 people came and we all had a super fun time. We interrupted the party to give him a group going-away gift and some people said some nice words. I couldn't say anything because I knew if I tried I would start blubbering... like I did at Jason's going away party. The group was laughing and having fun so I didn't want to bring the house down - so I just kept my mouth shut. Very unlike me... but the right decision at the moment.

Chant, I'm going to miss you terribly! But I hope everything is amazing for you in LA.

- Sad Rex