Rod Lanceshaft is now signing autographs

I'm Rod Lanceshaft...the barely-famous and rarely-employed 70s pornstar. I'm ready to sign autographs... do you want one? Really? Are you sure? Don't you remember me? No? The films "Pokey and the Bandit" and "Cocky Horror Picture Show"? Really? No? You sure you don't want an autograph? Then can I interest you in a time share?


Turns out I was the only one in my small office to dress up (gee...the gay one dressed up...go figure). Fearing that may be the case, I brought a few extra crazy wigs to the office and made some coworkers join in. I mean seriously...Rod Lanceshaft, the self-proclaimed infamous, rarely-employed 70s pornstar, needs some bitches on his arm...right?

SERVE IT!

"Read me the one about Keating Five, Mommy..."

While in Barnes and Noble, on my way to buy the new Pink CD "Funhouse" (which I'm totally digging!), this book cover caught my eye. Really? A children's book? WTF? It's all done in this illustration style. I'm sure it's a bedtime story, cuz it's sure to put anyone to sleep.

Crazy Cab comes to SF

So the other night I was in this cab... and the driver was BLASTING this music and nodding his head back and forth partially rocking out to it. I had to capture it. Make sure you put on your headphones/speakers and turn it up enough to hear... you've GOT to hear the song he was rocking out to. Not really what you want to listen to at 1am, but amusing nonetheless...

Now I know why the Yahoo! logo is red

I just activated a Yahoo! email account and the very first screen I see when I went to my fresh-n-empty inbox was this... so I just as quickly deactivated it. Who knew the "Yahooooo-oooo!" yodel was more "Texan" than we thought. More like "Yahooooo-eeeew!"

Now where did I put my loom?

As I was boiling water for my pasta, I saw this and thought, "Now THAT would make a funny t-shirt!"... I'm just saying...

Stop, drop, and RUN!

This morning I had a creepy experience in the men's room at work. There are 2 stalls, and while I was in one, a man entered the second one long after I'd been there. I guess he didn't realize I was there, and while it was quiet, he moaned to himself

"I'm gonna kill myself. I swear, I'm gonna kill myself."

I FROZE. Freaked out, I didn't know what to do. Do I stay silent until he leaves? But what if he tries something while in the bathroom? Then I thought he was on the phone... I prayed. I caught his reflection in the tile wall and saw him, head was face down in his hands.

I panicked...and quickly ran out of the stall...and of course made enough noise for him to realize I was there. He came out quickly and I avoided eye contact. We were next to each other while at the sinks. My head never left my hands.

Later today, I was returning from the restroom - and who is walking towards me but HIM. I recognized the shirt. He goes to grab his cell phone, out of his pocket - it falls to the ground. In disgust, he kicks his phone hard.

I've never seen this man before and now I've encountered him twice. I've promised myself that if I run into him again today, then I'm supposed to interact with him. Maybe there's a lesson I'm supposed to learn in all this. But it's been very odd.

If you could have only heard the desperation in his voice when he uttered those words. Chilling. Dire. Sad. I hope he's OK.

I can't imagine what it means

So I had a really strange dream last night. I dreamt that all of a sudden, a third testicle descended and I went to the doctor and they wanted to perform an emergency 9-hour surgery to remove it. But I decided to keep it :-?

Let the analysis begin.

Klever K-9

I've always been amazed at what we're able to train dogs to do. They have an amazing capacity to learn and adapt considering they ARE a completely different species that lives among us. I think we rarely acknowledge how smart these beings really are. I mean...let's face it...they're able to learn human language...but we still can't understand theirs. But beyond what they can learn... they still possess a huge amount of innate problem-solving skills even though they've been so domesticated and fairly dependent.

I think what makes this clip so impressive is the truly remarkable amount of information-processing this pooch is exhibiting. No training. No lessons. No bait. Just pure will, determination, cleverness, and skill.

Maybe this Beagle should be on McCain's ticket instead. I mean...really...couldn't hurt. Actually - it might help him too much... let's keep Caribou Barbie in place since she obviously isn't exhibiting an equal intellect.

And, for you cat lovers out there...I know all the same applies to cats too... but...well... they're cats and frankly I just don't care as much about them cuz...well...they're not dogs. Woof!

Adverprickteasing

Really? Really. Porn studios now need on-the-street mobile marketing techniques for brand recognition? I think this is hilarious. What's next? Will the 49ers play at Elbow Grease Stadium? Or perhaps the Giants will feel at home at Jungle Juice Park.

PS... Matt...is any of this your handywork?

A girl after my own heart

I couldn't have said it better myself!

These are HYSTERICAL. Click here to check out all the other...Other Family comics.