I've got two words: compound fracture

I started skiing when I was 10. My Dad took us skiing about 3 times per year, every year until I was 17. My Mom gave up on skiing after the very first trip, and then gave up on even coming with us to mountains after trip 4 - annoyed that all she did was cook and do laundry.

But my Dad was always there. He also started skiing the same time we did, so that means he was 34 when he started skiing. Now my Dad was a football player in high school and college. He plays tennis, played racquetball, rides a bike for miles, and overall was a pretty athletic guy. But I always remembered that as my brother and I learned to ski - we became really good - and by the time we were 17, we could ski on any runs. Double diamond? Bring it. But my Dad never really advanced at the same pace. He was always very cautious. Went down the slopes slowly, never with reckless abandon as my brother and I would. At 42, I know why. Things hurt.

As the years went by, he'd opt for half days, and due to an achy knee from a football injury, he'd sometimes sit out, and hang out on the deck of the lodge, watch the skiers and wait for us to finish. When we'd show up, he always had a big smile. We just assumed he was happy we were finally done and we could leave.

I continued to ski until I was 36. But next month, I'm heading off to Tahoe for Andy's 30th birthday and there is absolutely no question in my mind that I will NOT be skiing. After 3 back surgeries, two partially torn rotator cuffs, and the fact that I live alone and couldn't care for myself in the event of an injury, I quickly arrived at the decision that I can't risk skiing - probably ever again. Even though I go to the gym more regularly now than I ever have in my life, I'm frankly scared of the inevitable trifecta - Ski. Fall. Break.

The beauty of youth is they never consider, expect, or think about that day when they realize they're old, frail, and mortal. Well, that day has arrived. It's shitty, but it's the truth. I guess it's time to settle into my new role as that middle-aged man sitting on the deck of the lodge. And as he sees that kid zoom by, he remembers a day long-gone when that used to be him...a boy filled with reckless abandon. And that's what makes him smile.