"Are you always this color?"

So, the trip to Mexico was awesome. So glad we saw Mexico City and Guadalajara. I, as always, am happy to come home to San Francisco. It always makes me smile to see downtown. Like a little kid, I always say "Yeaaah, San Francisco!" and clap my hands together in short, little bursts.

Matt was nice enough to pick Don and I up - even though it took 1 hour for our luggage to show up and he had to go park at a gas station off-airport and wait for us. That was Saturday night....

Then Sunday came. It started off pleasant enough. Got a Pho at the Castro Bakery...who knew? Was slamming good. I'll be back. And then Matt and I headed to Union Square to run some errands at the Nike store and Apple store. I had to go work a beer bust fundraiser for my softball team at The Eagle. It started off fine. I set my eyelashes to "stun" and started selling raffle tickets to drunk men. Andy, Diego, Ron, and Aldrich were sweet to come and support the event. And during a nice little chat with Ron, I sneezed and heard POP!. It was my rib. I froze. In pain. Got weak. Had to hold onto the wall. Ron went and got Andy. I couldn't move. I think the rib pain I had been feeling the past 4 days was most likely just a hairline crack...but that sneeze just blew it out da box. I fractured it.

Andy and Diego drove me home and then Chant took me to the ER. He brought his Nintendo DS cuz you just never know how long you'll be there. The staff was great. Got in pretty quick. Took xrays, did an EKG (not sure why... I think that's just so my bill will be larger). And then we waited...for the xray results. During my exam, the doctor pulled down the charming gown and was looking at my chest and arms and said, "Are you always this color? All flushed?" Nice. Kick me when I'm down. Why don't you just ask me if I'm always this fat too? YES - I'm a pale, overweight, balding, middle-aged man with backhair! NOW GO GET MY XRAY RESULTS!!!!"

Turns out I did fracture my rib. He said there may even be 2 ribs fractured but xrays are hard to tell for sure. No treatment. Just rest. 4-6 weeks to heal. But they gave me a shot of Dilaudid... YIPPIE!!! That made me feel so much better. Unfortunately the prescription for Percoset was less impressive after the Dilaudid wore off. I'm going to start chopping the Percoset up and doing lines on my coffee table.

So I guess the moral of the story is... Tan before going to the ER in the Castro...