Art imitating life... or is it the other way around?

I was driving behind a Muni bus on my way to work... and on the back of the bus was a billboard with a cartoon lady on it. As I looked at it - it looked EXACTLY like Cristi - the lady that sits next to me at work. I snapped a shot of it and showed it to her and everyone else in the office - and they all agreed. I then forced her to pose for this picture so I could do a side-by-side comparison. I mean - I know you all don't know Cristi - but the similarity is amazing. I think she's moonlighting as a cartoon model and doesn't want to admit it.

Episode 3: Open Myk "Where's the stripper pole?"

We got back to the house and Myk was STILL going... and going... he's like the Energizer Bunny... that drinks Rum and Coke.

Episode 2: Open Myk "What in Gay Hell?"

Myk soon gets cut off at the bar for being too drunk. His commentary is awesome! Turns out they don't serve drunk minks at the bear bar.

Episode 1: Open Myk "Oh these bangs!"

I know many of you don't know who Myk is but he's one crazy mother fucker than can party like nobody's business. This is just before we headed out to Bearracuda... just being sassy. Just wait for episode 2 and 3...

Fierce Part Deux

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6ExgUW6ak8

OMG - From YouTube to the BoobTube at warp speed. The little crystal boy who danced to Beyonce has just appeared live on the Bonnie Hunt Show. Amazing.

Super bonus points for doing something new

Last night, Andy asked me to go see a singer, Jay Brannan, that I'd never heard of at a club I've never been to. Two new things in one night! The best part was that I really liked Jay a great deal. Great live singer. A bit emo but I really appreciated every song. So much so that I bought the CD and listened to it the entire way to work. He's like the gay lovechild from the Jason Mraz/James Taylor/Ani DiFranco triad.

The venue, Bottom of the Hill (Potrero), was a real cool space as well. Ran into a handful of "the gay" that we knew and hung out with them. Although I received 100 points for seeing someone I've never heard of, and an additional 50 points for leaving The Castro... I incurred at 25 point demerit for only talking to people I already knew. Baby steps.

Fierce

This kid is one stomach flu away from his ideal weight - amazing what one can do these days with crystal and a DVR. Whosaiditisaidit!

"This house is clean..."

Remember that line from the creepy little lady (Tangina) in Poltergeist? Well, coming off of my week of bad luck for technology where all of my significant devices were either stolen or damaged (iPhone, iPod, laptop), I have followed her poignant command and I "went into the light...there is peace and serenity in the light." Did she mean the bright light of a new 3G iPhone booting up? Or the shine and sparkle of the brand new HP laptop that just showed up today? I think she did... cuz these new babies have put a super big smile on my face.

Oh, and get this! My new laptop has a fingerprint sensor built-in so any place that has a username/password, I can assign it to my fingerprint and simply swipe my finger on the sensor and it logs me in... SO FUCKING JAMES BOND... I love it. Is that the coolest thing or what? I guess now my only fear will be with my recent luck, someone will steal my right index finger.


And to top things off, the weekend looks to be amazing. A huge SoCal posse, sans Chant :-(, are heading up tomorrow for Andrew's 40th birthday. Nine people from SoCal (Wilma, Andrew, Jason, Ashley, Myk, Andrew, Monika, Roger, and Darrin) are trekking up for a weekend of fun. I LOVE it...Can you say "Slumber party"? And Gabe will be here from NYC... so it's gonna be just like Festivus in SF. It's full steam ahead for good luck, friends, and fun.

So now that my "house is clean"... I better hurry home and clean my house before the guests arrive!

iCan't believe it...now my iPod has been stolen

Friday night I swung by Will B and Brian G's place for their house "cooling" party since they are moving to NYC soon. I was only there for 1 hour when Mikey F calls me and says "Um, Davey, your car was broken into."

Upon approach, all you see is a sea of shattered glass on in the gutter - and a complete missing passenger window. When I rummaged through the mess of shatter glass all over the seat and floor, I found that they had stolen my iPod Nano that was hidden in a dashboard compartment... along with two pairs of headphones, and my iPod/FM converter. THE BASTARDS. One week after having my iPhone stolen... now my iPod was gone. Oh - and last week my 5-year old laptop died and I had to buy a new one on Tuesday.










So basically this past week has been an AWFUL week for Davey and his toys. I really wasn't prepared to have to replace all of these devices in one week - and just before the holidays. I'm actually just gonna use my iPhone as my iPod for a while until I decide whether or not to buy a used Nano from craigslist - or maybe as for a new one for Xmas... my parents are always anxious for me to give them a Xmas list... so here they go!

Anyway, I got the window replaced on Saturday morning and then went to the movies with Andy. Coming out of the movie I somehow lost the parking ticket so I had to pay $30 to park for 2 hours. The gods are not thrilled with me, I guess. Ugh! I hope my string of bad luck is over.

A rare sighting... my desk clean

My employer, Pearson & Co., is celebrating its 20 year anniversary today. We're throwing a party at our office for about 50 clients, vendors, freelancers, ex-employees...and us. So, needless to say, we had to clean up our workspaces. Well - my workspace is NEVER clean. Which is weird because my home is usually quite spotless - but for some reason, my desk and surrounding workspace is a complete disaster of paper et al. I'm sure there is a therapy-related analysis that accompanies this dichotomy... we'll save that for another blog entry.

So anyway - I thought I'd share a few pics of where I work... now that it's clean and presentable for pictures.

"A CA/NY Kinda Shame" by Gabe Zichermann

If you're on facebook, check out this posting from my friend Gabe. If you're not - read on. Strong words. Strong feelings. That's my Gabe. Atta boy!

A CA/NY Kinda Shame
by Gabe Zichermann

Shame.

It’s a funny word, and one that’s been a theme in my life – and the lives of so many gays and lesbians.

This past week, I spent the majority of my (non-sick-as-a-dog) time volunteering for the no on prop 8 campaign. I felt strongly enough that for weeks I’d planned to come to LA to fight against this ridiculous, unfair and absurdist amendment – even though I’m super busy running a company. More often than not, I heard “you need to go to the Central Valley, that’s where they need reeducation most.”

And I’d reply, each time: “This election is not about getting the fundies to change their minds, it’s about getting our supporters out in sufficient numbers to make a difference.” It turns out, the No on Prop 8 folks had the same conceit.

When I got to LA, I met the earnest and committed volunteers who were driving the Prop 8 campaign. I thought it was encouraging to see the GLBT center in WeHo full of people looking to volunteer on election day. And, with the prospect of a landslide victory for Obama, I believed that momentum was with us.

My friend Darren and I got assigned to a polling place in Eagle Rock, and I spent the day fighting back the flu (thanks, Gatorade!) and fielding text queries from my friends on the East Coast: “how’s it looking?” And good it certainly did look.One after another, heterosexuals came streaming through the polls, most of them telling us that we had their support. Many were even playfully dismissive, making fun of the idea that they’d vote any other way. And even the less-than-a-handful of crazy fundies hardly made a dent in our mood – upbeat and excited though it was.

But once I made it home, and interspersed my Obama celebration with detailed views of the early reporting on Prop 8, I feared we were going to lose. In county after county, the gays and their allies were lazy. Instead of seeing the real threat at their doorstep, they somehow managed to get out of even coming to the polls.

You can clearly see it in the vote breakdown by county – and in the raw numbers. The total votes against prop 8 *roughly* correspond to the total number of gays in California. Now tell me: did no straight folks vote for us? Nope. That’s not what happened at all. I personally met at least 300 straight people that voted to support us, and count among my friends hundreds of others who I know spent days and weeks agonizing over how to defeat Prop 8, often at political risk to themselves. My friend David, for example, using his (very broadly read) professional blog to make a point about the need to crush prop 8 – even though he’s straight.

And while I agree that all minorities that voted for Prop 8 should be ashamed of denying gays their basic rights, the majority of the blame for this lies with us – the gays – and the other millions of complacent Californian liberals that couldn’t get off their asses to vote yesterday.

What’s wrong with you people? Seriously? Is this the California laid-back attitude that I used to love (but am now starting to loathe) rearing its ugly head? How could anyone (let alone 50%+ of SF voters) fail to grasp the gravitas of this election? How did you manage to ignore the fact that your basic rights are at stake?

I, for one, am glad to be going back to New York right now. I used to think of myself as a Californian, but there’s no way around this conclusion: there’s something awful about the Golden State these days, friends. I’m not sure if I’m just growing up, or if something really has changed. Find Myself Here? Nah, I think I’d rather not.

Either way, to all of you who didn’t make it out yesterday while I stood outside alternately freezing and sweating my way through the campaign: shame on you.

On second thought…Fuck You.

How New York of me.

So proud I can't stand it

Quick bragging rights about to be exerted. This poem was written by my 12-year old niece. I think it's pretty amazing - not just for a 12-year old, but for anyone. Maybe she'll end up being the writer in the family.

Where I'm From

I am from books,
From dusty shelves.
I am from sand in the sandbox.
Brown and wet, usually formed
Into sand pies.
I am from the old
Sandalwood tree whose branches
Held me while I read.

I am from chocolate and guitars.
From Aurea and Tom.
I'm from the musicians
And the readers.
From 'eat your vegetables'
To 'Jesus, Maria, Joseph!'
I'm from Eagles' Wings,
And a satin communion gown.

I'm from my grandmas' branches,
Pastina and rice with bacon.
From my great grandma's Christmas visits,
To my aunt's magnificent drawings.
On the dusty top shelf where dozens of albums,
Every page filled with pictures.
Old and recent.
A memory, happy or sad, captured on paper.
I am like one flower in an entire meadow full of flowers.
All around me are my family.
Some still a bud.
Some in bloom.
Some starting to wither and droop.

Still sassy at 83

I called my Grandma this morning on the way to work. When I told her about Halloween and that I was dressed up as a 70s pornostar/pimp her quick reply was "Oh, too bad I wasn't there, I could've been the hooker!" Luv it!

Then she tells me that in her senior building, everyone takes turn being the floor captain to make sure everyone is still alive. Well, recently the neighbor man's meals-on-wheels food was sitting out in the hallway too long so my Grandma went in and found the man dead. Her response was "And you know what...it's a myth. He didn't have a hard-on."

I luv her! If you want to learn more about my Grandma, reference this earlier blog posting. She's just too much!

I may be a size queen...but seriously?

It is rare that I have bad or disappointing food in SF. Even the holes-in-the-wall usually deliver an above-average food experience. Last night I had what was possibly the most disappointing meal I've had in a long long time in SF.

Boom and I were craving Buffalo Wings. We thought to ourselves "Ooooh, there's that place on Valencia called 'Newyorker's Buffalo Wings' so lets go there and mess up a big basket of em!"

All day I was looking forward to that big basket of wings... finger-licking good! We arrive at 8pm and the place is literally empty. And I mean empty. We were THE only patrons. Red flag #1.

We approach the counter to order to find a 15 yr old kid there to take our order. We look at the menu and it's basically a burger place... that sells wings. They had burgers, gyros, greek salad, chicken sandwiches... oh...and wings. On the wings menu, one would expect a place called "Newyorker's Buffalo Wings" to have a variety of flavors, styles, and options. Nope. Red flag #2. The only choice you have is how many (8, 13, 26, or 30), spicy or mild, and blue cheese or ranch. That's it.

We decided to split an order of 13 (and btw... 13? what's up with that? What number is more difficult to share among a group than a prime number?) Red flag #3. I also order a gyro.
Not sure why... but I did. Let it go.

The entire time we waited, not another single person walked in. Oh - and while waiting, all the staff sans the cook were sitting out in the dining room watching The Simpsons on the big screen TV. Red flag #4.

And while waiting... other staff members came into the restaurant with bags of food from somewhere else. OK, if they don't even want to eat there... Red flag #5

The food arrives - and what we stare down at was the most disappointing basket of wings EVER to be placed before us. I held hopes that these wings...again the name of the fucking restaurant... would be big and juicy and delicious. They were the smallest, puniest, meatlessest wings I've ever seen. Take a look. They were so small I had to capture because I don't think you can really appreciate how shitty these were. Now... I've been called a size queen but PUH-LEASE... would these satisfy you? Red flag 1 to many


Oh, and my gyro was basically a pita filled with onions, one slice of gyro meat, and 4 cups of yogurt sauce.

I normally don't do reviews on Yelp, City Search, or other...but I have made it my personal mission to drive this restaurant out of business - FAST. They underwhelmed the wrong size queen...I mean... patron...

DON'T EVER EAT AT NEWYORKER'S BUFFALO WINGS

It must have crawled all the way home

Look what I found at my doorstep this fine Sunday morning. Keep in mind I lost it on Friday night. It was tore up and covered in grime... just like I was when I lost it ;-)

I heart HSM3

Both of my nieces have their birthdays in November and since they get soooo much stuff for their birthdays and for Xmas, Uncle Dave has put a moratorium on buying them gifts that you wrap - and instead all gifts are now experience-based/event-oriented/quality-time presents.

Last year for their birthdays I took them to see High School Musical (1&2) ON ICE. Oh yes, the Disney producers sifted all of the magical moments from the first two movies and condensed it down to a single ice extravaganza. I knew my nieces loved HSM so thought this would be a fun gift.

Well, on the day of the ice show, they forced me to watch BOTH movies, back to back, so I'd be up to speed on the complex characters and intricate story lines. So as a good uncle, I sat through 6 hours of HSM - watched both movies and then sat through the 2 hour ice show that recapped everything I had just seen. PURE MAGIC.










Advance to this year, and when I saw the commercial that High School Musical was coming to the silver screen, and premiering in late October, I knew I had the makings of their next birthday gifts.

So I got tickets for opening weekend and we made a day of it. The movie was - well - created for young girls... and they LOVED IT. They said it was, by far, the best of the trilogy. I thought it was super cheesy and a bit phony but I'm not the target audience so it really doesn't matter what I think.








Afterwards, it was off to a dinner of their choice. The little one (7-yr) screamed "Burgers! Let's go to Red Robin!" So Uncle Dave obliges and we trek to the nearest one. But on the way, they kept talking about how much they loved the songs, so luckily right next door to Red Robin was a Blockbuster so we popped and got the HSM3 Soundtrack.










Then at Red Robin, they opened the CD and of course inside was a double-sided, fold-out poster of the cast - which they bickered about which one of them was gonna get the poster. Ah, sibling rivalry. Oh, and then the little orders pizza...wtf?

I really like these types of gifts cuz we get to spend some quality time together. I really enjoy it - and I think they do too. I think, once they're older, they're gonna totally dig having the cool gay uncle!

Oh, and on that note, my 12-yr old niece said that she's voting NO on 8, and in her own words, when asked why she would vote no, she said "Because it doesn't affect me, and everyone should have the right to marry whomever they want. Me and my friends at school want Ellen to marry her girlfriend." So now my brother and sister-in-law are going to have "the talk" with her soon and let her know about her very special uncle. I'm excited...and nervous... but mostly excited.

iWon and iLost

Last night was Halloween! And what made the night great was that Wilma and Andrew came up from LA for the weekend and we tore it up out on the town. I stayed dressed as Rod Lanceshaft but I made one modification to the costume. I stuffed a HUGE dildo down my red polyester pants to add that extra touch that really puts the "rod" in my persona's name.

We started the night with cocktails and Chinese food at my place and then we headed over to the Polk Street area of bars. I mean - what better place to be dressed as a 70s pornstar - the gay mecca in the 70s. We met up with a big group of friends at the Lush Lounge and had a few drinks there but then we went to the Cinch Saloon. It was packed. While at the lush lounge, Matt Duke decided to put on my wig and show us his many looks. Fierce - every single one of them! One of them is Katie Holmes, aka Dead Eyes. Can you pick out which one is Katie?

We were having a really good time and then all of a sudden they interrupted everyone to introduce a costume contest. My friends insisted that I enter so I went up on stage and the crowd roared... thanks mostly to my group of friends who screamed their heads off. I was on stage with about 12 contestants - and in fact many of the costumes were pretty good. One of the bar staff helping with the contest was dressed PERFECTLY as Patsy Stone... so good...

They then had each of us come to the front of the stage and have the crowd applause/scream for their favorites. After everyone had their moment, they narrowed it down to 3 finalists - a guy dressed as Edward Scissorhands, another guy not in a costume but just had a fake rubber wound on his neck (WTF?), and Rod Lanceshaft.

They had the audience go through another round of applause to determine the winner. And even though my group of friends screamed their bloody heads off, alas, Edward Scissorhands won, but I came in 2nd place and won $75 cash. Pretty awesome!

Oh - and then when I came off the stage, I went to get my iPhone that I put on a ledge (so it wasn't ruining the "lines" of my polyester pants) and it was GONE. So that $75 win is going to cost me $200 for a new iPhone.

All in all, we had a super fun time - and I'm paying for it this morning - figuratively and literally. Oh and somewhere in between the bar, the cab, and my house, the wig is missing. Damn!