We all need at least one boycott, right?

Let's face it - fonts mean something to us. They communicate brand and style. If they didn't, we wouldn't have hundreds to choose from when creating logos, headlines, etc.

Starbucks has this new line of beverages called VIVANNO nourishing blends. And this is the font they are using for the names of the flavors. I just don't get it. Really? A really crappy hand-scratch font? It's bad. Plain and simple. It doesn't say "nourishing" or "blend" or "Starbucks".

HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!

I refuse to even try one of these beverages until they change that stupid-ass font. Oh, I'm so serious.

A day in the life of us agency folks

This is sooo hilarious! Watch the whole thing. It's SO on the money. Perfect!

http://www.makemylogobiggercream.com/

The Game of Life

On Saturday we had a family gathering at my parent's house to welcome my grandma's arrival. My parents have put up a 1,000 gallon inflatable pool for my nieces to swim in when they come over. Yes...I said 1,000 gallons. It's crazy but fun. We played Marco Polo and volleyball and I picked them up and slammed them down into the water a bunch of times too. I mean, if I can't torture them, it's just no fun. Jessica is 12 and in the back. Sydney is 7.

So after we had a great BBQ dinner, Sydney insisted that we all play the board game, "The Game of Life". I swear I don't recall ever playing this game in my life. What a boring game. The game has absolutely no strategy to it - and all you do is take and pay out money. You basically pick out a station wagon (I picked blue) and put either a blue or pink piece in the driver seat to represent "yourself".

There are aspects of this game that are still a bit archaic and old-fashioned (FYI, this board game was created in 1861). For example, everyone in the game, at a certain point, must STOP AND GET MARRIED. So when it was my turn, I decided to be a bit edgy and put another blue piece next to me. I didn't say anything to anyone...wondering if anyone would notice. Of course, nothing gets by Sydney and about halfway through the game she said "Uncle Dave, why do you have 2 blues in your car?" I played dumb and said, "Oh, I just grabbed a piece out of the bag." To which she replied, "Then why didn't you grab a pink piece." I said, "I don't know." She said, "Why don't you grab one now." I said, "Oh, it's no biggie. It's fine as it is." My sister-in-law looked at me and laughed...I grinned from ear to ear.


At the end of the evening, my brother and sister-in-law and I were talking about the fact that my nieces don't know I'm gay and need to be told soon. So they've asked me to come over one evening and the three of us will have "the conversation". I have to admit I'm nervous about coming out to my nieces. I'd hate for them to look at me differently, in any way. I'm hoping, though, that they won't care and finding out early in their life will make them sensitive and open-minded from a very early age. I think it was very cool that my brother/sister want me to be there for this conversation. Keep your fingers crossed that all goes well.

My Grandma

My 83-yr old grandma arrived from New Jersey. It's always great to see her. She usually comes out for Xmas only but this year she came out for a summer visit and to surprise her great-grand daughter, Jessica, who will be performing in a community center production of High School Musical.

I have a really great relationship with her. I've always been able to talk to her, frankly, and she's always respected me as an adult. She totally doesn't care that I'm gay and after I told her she NEVER looked at me differently. Never.

She's spunky and foul-mouthed. She loves to play cards (for money) and she LOVES to play the slots. Her diet consists mostly of toast, coffee, and cigarettes. She demands kisses as a source of energy and currency - if you want something she has or you want her to do something - you have to give her a kiss.

She's lived within a 5-mile radius in Hudson County, New Jersey her entire life.

When we were kids she used to spoil us rotten. She taught us how to play poker and how to learn the strategy of a card game. We couldn't (and still can't) do wrong. She's a proud grandmother and doesn't think twice about bragging to her friends about her family.

She's 4' 10" tall and she doesn't take shit from anybody. Don't piss her off or she won't think twice about hitting you in the nuts with her cane and then flipping you off while swearing at you! And don't touch food with your fingers or she'll say 'You touch...and I break your fingers!" Oh, and she used to work for the garbage company... so make sure you don't end up on her shit list cuz you just never know when you'll be sporting a pair of cement shoes ;-)

She's Ann D'Amore, she's my grandma and I love her to pieces. I hope I have more time with her before she leaves us.

I caught a few pics as she came off the airplane.

Drnk texxtng iss fcingk hlar1ois

Hey Chant... don't ever get predictive type and/or spell check on that crap-ass Motor-olda phone of yours... cuz then I'd stop getting funny ass drunk text messages like this:

(Actual transcript of my cellphone text conversation with a drunk-ass Chant on Friday night)

Chant: .Laung dot wy.twilmao woohoo!
Me: LOL luv it!! Whatever you said.
Chant: I said loop wilma holp timoy moth 1
Me: Read what u just sent me...fucking immigrant
Chant: I do what wobtu lol what are lerkdrs doing? Gosh And tx linen it!
Me: I can't understand anything you're texting...luv it! Drunk Chant texting...LOL
Chant: I'm totally coherent mol.j so stop it hoonimg with wilmma there are ferretpp so cute
Me: Dude read ur texts I couldn't even read that
Chant: Ferrets case biting mee
Me: What is a 'ferret case biting'?
Chant: Some lesbimbg somewed uu now ySfer lieaj'm it!
Me: WTF
Chant: You don't olow mee!
Me: You're right...I don't olow you
Chant: Why do u tulaale that attitude ilep me. Why brennm.t u hoedanniv
Me: What?????????????
Chant: I painf l zip here 4th on fzzyy self
Me: I have no idea what that means...LOL
Chant: THERE'S A BUNCH ME lesbians bend ll wilma
Me: ?????????? Lesbians bend ll wilma...really? What is that?
Chant: kyokjk sobering ur slightly butt not fast enoughhigh
Me: ...so funny...
Chant: goddamnit dancing with lesbians oh snobup now trannies lol
Me: Hot!
Chant: omg trannies everywhere
Me: that's awesome
Chant: ugh trashy...need done I'm etching grubsting for meat

That is some funny shit. Now I only wish I knew what any of it meant. I guess I'll need to ask Kelly Alaolsoo... she'll know.

Painted Lady

I caught a pic of this reddish/brown pigeon. A color I'd never seen before. I thought it was quite pretty...

...and so did this other pigeon. Cuz seconds later, she started turning tricks in the parking garage at Trader Joe's. What a whore.

Day 7: All good things...

Well – it was inevitable. This awesome vacation would have to end. We had to check out of our house at 10am but some of us weren’t leaving til 4pm, so we…let’s see…what could we do until we had to leave?...how could we possibly spend our final hours? Oh, right! Go sit at The Boatslip and drink Margaritas!

Today was a scorcher! 96 degrees and humid. But we totally scored with 2 tables and 6 chairs under the big tent at The Boatslip. We just sat around and chatted with people around us. Other new friends strolled by for visits – like Andy. He was kayaking and pulled his boat up to the Boatslip’s shore and joined us on the deck for a while. Calvin was there too and we had some good laughs.

I then headed off to the airport. Now, remember that these planes only hold 8 people. I wanted to be first in line to get to sit up front next to the pilot. Mission Accomplished.

It was pretty cool to get to sit in the front seat. I wasn’t able to touch anything while in flight, but I sure wanted to. What a great way to close the trip.

I’m now at Logan airport in Boston, sitting here thinking back to my TOTALLY amazing vacation. Day after day of fun, friends, and relaxation.

I’m blessed to have met some really spectacular people who I will definitely keep in touch with and look forward to seeing very soon.

It was great to get to know Fernando and Larry, my housemates, and to get to know Chris a lot better. We spent a lot of time together and really got to know each other. I look forward to seeing Fer and Larry when I visit my peeps in LA, and I hope to make it to Madrid to visit Chris.

And it’s always my very special treat to hang out with Gabe, especially at an event like this. He’s a voracious social creature and his ability to swoop people into his circle is amazing to watch – and from which to benefit.

Here’s to Provincetown Bear Week 2009!!!!

Day 6: Friday was my kinda day

Andy surprised us again, and brought the household another bag full of breakfast sandwiches this morning. He’s totally spoiling us. It’s a very sweet way to start the day. Friday had the signs of potentially being a boring day for me. Fernando and Larry were off to go kayaking but I couldn’t because of my rotator cuff injury, Gabe and Chris were going to be working all day, so that left little ol me all alone. What to do. What to do.

So I rented a bike and rode all over Provincetown for 2 hours checking out the local architecture – which is more like charmchitecture – and I also rode out to the beach to see the shore. I snapped a few shots of some of the charming homes and a little bit of the seashore – which was less interesting.

I realized that I hadn’t been on a bike since, well, I can’t remember. It was so much fun to do that again. Far too long. I was able to ride with no hands like I used to do when I was young. That was fun. The other thing that was great, was getting a 2 hour cardio workout in the hot sun. I was a dripping wet pig when I was done – but I felt great. Except for that area under my butt… it is SO sore from the seat…ouch!

This one yellow house was for sale and I started having delusions of grandeur imaging buying it, fixing it up and having an amazing vacation home across the street from the shore. But, then, it hit me… that’s how ALL of these folks end up buying here. They get charmed by their first visit
and then think “wouldn’t it be great to have a vacation home?” and then it’s all over. On a side note, everything is really expensive and there’s a TON of stuff for sale. Me thinks the honeymoon is over for a bunch of vacationers.

The Rosie O’Donnell cruise “R Family” pulled into town today and dumped off 2000 gay and lesbian families (queers and their kids). The streets were PACKED. It was cool that there was a giant influx of extra gay people in Ptown – but honestly – it was already crowded enough and inside my head I was kinda thinking…”GET OUT!”

We all met back up and headed out for my final tea dance at The Boatslip. Oh My God, Becky… it was the biggest tea dance of all, we think because of the cruise ship peeps. Check out this crowd!

Gabe’s partner, Jason, showed up just in time for the tea dance, so we hung out and did our usual bit of drinking and being silly. It was great fun. We spent a few hours here frolicking with the menz, and then we were off to go get in line to see Dina Martina, this drag queen with the GIANT camel toe.

After the tea dance we strolled through town and ran into these guys that are friends of Gabe’s from NYC. The guy on the right, the big giant bear, is named Barry. Really? This guy is the total poster bear for this week. So funny his name was Barry the Bear.

Gabe and I were first in line and while standing there, we stuck up a conversation with this volunteer fireman, George, who was watching over the fire truck that had been positioned in the courtyard of this bar. Later that night, there was a big dance called the “Fireman’s Ball” and it was a fundraiser for the local firehouse. So in classic Gabe/Dave fashion we had to ask a ton of questions about how they got the truck in here? If we could climb on it? How may volunteer firefighters the town had? The recent fire stories in town, etc. He was a nice guy so I snapped a shot of him.

At the Dina Martina show, she has “Gift Time” where she pulls out a gift bag and hands out little gifts to the crowd. Well, I didn’t realize what was about to happen – but she asked people to raise their hand if they wanted a gift. So I did, as did most of the audience. Well, she picked me and then told me to come up on stage. So I had to get on stage with her and she asked me a few questions before giving me each gift.

“Well hello there. Wow, you have quite a man chest. You put the man chest in Manchester.” (badump bump!)

“Do you like Butterscotch?”
“Yes…”
“Great! And do you like Haggas?”
“Um…no.”
“Great! Here’s some butterscotch-flavored gummie-bear haggas.”

“Do you like lollipops?”
“Yes…”
“Great! And do you like Sigmund Freud?”
“Uh…sure.”
“Great! Here’s a Sigmund Freud lollipop!”

The lights were CRAZY hot and of course I was just standing there sweating. But it was fun.

Then we grabbed a late dinner where the Miss Richfield 1981 drag show was just getting out so I was able to grab a pic of her saying goodbye to her guest. I love her bra.

Gabe and I then went to the Fireman’s Ball and had a super fun time. It was one of those THUMP THUMP THUMP dance parties but the place had a deck and pool out back so we just hung outside the whole time meeting and talking to different people. We closed the dance at 1am, and then I, as usual, headed over to Spiritus Pizza for my last sidewalk sale. I hung out with Calvin (pictured below) who is the tallest human being I’ve ever met (6’9”) but a MAJOR sweety. He’ll be out to SF for Folsom Week so I’ll get to hang out with him when he comes into town.

My last full day in Ptown was great! So sad to see the trip come to a close tomorrow on Saturday. But I guess all good things must come to an end, eventually.

Day 5: It just keeps getting better

This morning we awoke to find our new friend, Andy, had brought our entire household breakfast sandwiches. Did I mention how SWEET he is? That was such a nice surprise. And he even knew that one of our housemates, Christopher, is a veggiesaur and brought him a vegan version.

Fernando, Larry, and I went to the pool to be part of the Bear Stew that was forming at the Boatslip. The sun was super warm today, but we suffered so, surrounded by tons-o-men who were nice enough to drizzle cool pool water over our shoulders. I could only take it out there for an hour and then even with the SPF 50, this white boy needed to take off.

















Today was the sad day that Joshua, Stephen, and Chris had to leave and head back to NYC. So I left the pool and strolled down to their house to say goodbye before they left. As I approached their home, Chris was sitting in the window like a common red-light district whore (funny how art imitates life) as well as their neighbor. So we stood in the street and chatted with the painted ladies.















We all decided to go grab some lunch together before they left. We exchanged numbers and gave each other big hugs goodbye. Joshua will be in SF in mid August and I can't wait to hang out with him again... and then Stephen (red shirt/baseball hat) is coming into town in September for Folsom so it will be nice to see him too!
















Joshua has this really interesting set of piercings. You see these two round stumps but what you don't see is that they are connected by a vertical rod that lives beneath his skin. Um...ouch... but totes cool. He has this on both sides of his head. He also had this fierce watch. Did I mention how much we love Joshua? LOL... the best. totes. forshiz.













We came back to relax at the house and Andy came by again for another impromptu visit. We had planned to go to tea dance, but we ended up all just relaxing at the house and having a nice visit. Since we were enjoying the house so much, we decided to make dinner at the house. Two grocery store trips and $100 later, we made burgers, corn, and chips/guacamole...lol... needless to say, the markets are a bit pricey here.

It was now 11pm and since the bars are only open til 1am, we decided to rally and head out. What troopers we are ;-) We ran into a series of interesting peeps and had nice conversations. This pleasant person had some really insightful things to share about China's political interest in Darfur.


We, as usual, mosied to the sidewalk sale at Spiritus. On our way home around 2:30am, Gabe stopped for some ice cream and we noticed this young guy sitting on a bench, barefoot. So... thinking there was a good story there, we sauntered over and chatted with him. His name is Niko, 25-yrs old and on vacation from his home a WHOLE 28 miles away. He brought his friend with him, who turned out NOT to be into bears. So we sat with Niko for a while and got his story.

Day 4: Talons, Claws, and Spurs

Wednesday's activities started late in the day. We cooked an amazing breakfast and enjoyed it out on the patio. After, which, I took a nap. So good. I NEVER nap. So it was a treat.

I awoke to find that another one of our new found friends, Andy, stopped by for a visit. He’s from Long Island and A TOTAL sweetie. We adore Andy. So Gabe and I had a nice visit. He’s another one of our MVNFs (most valuable new friends). That’s the best part of these kind of trips – meeting great new people.

Andy

We then saw the Jackie Beat show - she's my favorite drag queen. Unfortunately, we saw an early show (5pm) and it was poorly attended. But she was still great, dirty, and irreverent (as all good drag queens should be). She goes for the throat and I love how she berates people in the audience. She's like the demon spawn from a menage a trois with Don Rickles, Totie Fields, and
Max Factor.

While waiting for the Jackie Beat show to start, I stopped into a local sunglass store - always on the hunt to discover new crazy glasses for Chant to resurrect his Faggotron character. I think these just might be too gay... thoughts?

We popped over to the tea dance for a spell before going to dinner. It was PACKED (take a look). I think these tea dances are my favorite thing. Everyone comes to the Boatslip and hangs out on the deck. So much fun.

Tea Dance at Boatslip

The local fare in town is mostly just OK food, but there is this one place, The Lobster Pot, has the reputation for being one of the better seafood restaurants. Check out the buzzers. So cute. Now, where do you find lobster-shaped buzzers? So, I ordered a seafood pasta that came with lobster meat on it. I asked the waitress if there was a nice amount of lobster on it. She said “Would you like me to put a little extra lobster meat on it for you, dear?” I said, “Oh, that would be nice. Thanks.” The bill comes and my pasta was $40. $27 for the dish, and $13 for 3 more small chunks of lobster meat. Really? $40 for pasta? Geez. It was tasty, have to admit.

Another new friend of ours, Chris (glasses with horizontal striped shirt above), wanted to sing "Welcome to the Jungle" so we headed over to the Karaoke bar so he could sing. We waited and waited and then we lost interest (nice friends, eh?) so a group of us came back to our house, drank beer out in the backyard and chatted about politics n shit. Oh, and on the walk back to the house, I ran into this cute cowboy.

Another great, peaceful, beautiful day in Ptown.