Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Crazy Day in LA

On my way home from Palm Springs, I drove back through LA so I could visit with Chant, Wilma, and the special guest star, Matress, who was in LA from Atlanta. I didn't want to miss a chance to see him so I rerouted my departure plans and was going to have lunch with them before driving back to SF.










Well... upon arrival, a fresh cocktail was forced into my hand ;-) and the party had started and my plans to leave LA at 5pm were foiled. Instead - the new, less intelligent plan - was for me to stay the day and wake up at 3am to drive directly into work on Monday morning. A plan that ONLY could have been concocted after the first cocktail was gone.










After a few drinks and a quick lunch at Denny's, we all headed down into the LA subway and took off for beer bust at the Faultline. They had the entire parking lot roped off and the bust was happening outside as well as inside. It was super fun. We took off our shirts and enjoyed the warm day among the LA boys.










One of the funnier moments was popping into the leather shop next door where I, in my buzzed state, climbed into the free-standing sling with cocktail in-hand. LOL. She's classy. The scariest part of the entire day was finding out on Tuesday that we had actually gone to McDonald's for dinner and ate Angus Burgers. I have no recollection of this - which is weird cuz I was awake for 4 hours AFTER the meal which I remember completely. I'm calling it momentary memory lapse brought on by sun stroke. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.










Thanks Chant, Wilma, and Matress for making my twelve hours in LA (well...at least the 11 1/2 that I remember) tons of fun!

Give me Liberty or Give me Death

Whenever the weather turns warm in SF, it is quite common to see this handful of men walking up and down Castro Street in nothing more than their birthday suits...and flip-flops.

Now - public nudity isn't my personal cup of tea - but I wholehearted embrace the spirit of a city where these people feel the personal expression and freedom to be who they are without public scorn and ridicule.

I realize it might be shocking to many... but I don't think they're harming anyone. It's just the human body.

So after seeing these guys around a few times I thought it was time to approach them and make nice. Jace was kind enough to snap a shot.

This is just another punctuation point on what an amazing city this is. I can't imagine living anywhere else and I can't express my appreciation and good fortune that I'm able to live here and participate in a community that pushes boundaries and forces discussion.

The day the mindset shifts and drag queens stop coming around and boys stop kissing on the sidewalk...and these guys stop taking an evening stroll "al fresco" is the day I start filling out my "Welcome to Canada" application form.

Was Fun to be a "Part of that World"

Last night I went to "Sing-along Little Mermaid" at the Castro Theatre. What a hoot! I went with Andy, Boom, Fonzi, and Ziah. Upon entry, we were greeted by Aerial and the French Chef from the film. They handed us a bag filled with goodies. At first, I thought it was a party favor bag to take home.


What I soon realized that it was our "Interactive Movie Kit" It was filled with:

1.Gold King Triton crown
2. Plastic pearl necklace
3. Bubbles
4. Glow stick
5. Plastic "clackers"
6. Plastic fork
7. Poppers (i.e. the kind that shoot confetti on New Year's Eve ;-)

The theater was filled to the brim. To my surprise, there were some families with little kids. I guess I had thought this was a "gay" thing but it was definitely a nice, mixed crowd. Before they started the film, they paraded the children on stage to show off their costumes. Surprise, surprise...it was Aerial after Aerial after Aerial... but was totally cute, nonetheless. Then they had adults in costumes come up for a quick costume contest. Then the two character hosts that greeted us (Chef and Aerial) explained some of the "rules" for the evening. It was feeling more and more like a Disney-version of Rocky Horror Picture Show - and I was liking it!

Here were the rules:
1. Boo and Hiss every time Ursula and her evil sidekicks, Flotsum and Jetsum, appeared
2. Ooh and Ahh every time Aerial dons a new outfit
3. Smooch sounds every time Aerial and the Prince are close to each other
4. Clack the clackers every time Sebastian the crab is moving around
5. Blow bubbles at will but specifically when Aerial is taking a bubble bath
6. Get up and dance and sing around the theatre at any time...just stay off the stage
7. Yell "Look out" when the shark approaches
8. Shoot the poppers when they get married
9. And...of course...SING ALONG to every song!!

Upon conclusion of the film... I had realized that I had, in fact, never actually seen Little Mermaid before. I knew none of the songs and I knew none of the story. But that didn't make it any less fun. It was great energy. Everyone was wearing their crowns and glow sticks. Everyone sang, cheered, and clapped constantly throughout.

Out front, we hung out a bit amongst the crowd. I was particulary amused by this guy... fresh from childood flashback, crown still on, jonesing for a smoke.

And Fonzi was so funny - he couldn't stop playing with the pearl necklace so I decided a photo shoot was in order. Fierce, Fonzi! Fierce!

And what would Sing-Along Little Mermaid in the Castro be without the requisite tranny Ursula who thought that just wearing a black dress with big hooters was all the costume she needed to be Ursula. I mean, like she'd pad the dress to look fat ...puh-leaze!


In the group shot, from left to right: me, Fonzi, Ziah, Boom, and Andy. Fun time guys! Can't wait until Sing-Along "West Side Story" I'm SOOOOOO all over that.
Oh - quick side note: Andy shared that as a child, whenever swimming in a pool, he would often recreate that "money" shot of Aerial on the rocks with crashing waves by protruding from the end of the diving board and then have his friends make a big splash behind him. I'd call that "Little Mexmaid" LOL

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'll have the hexagon scramble, please

Yesterday at work, my boss introduced a fun little word game. You have to describe yourself in a 6-word statement. Here's mine:

"Lives to die with a smile"

What's yours? Comment and let me know.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.

When I was growing up, I couldn't wait to listen to Casey Kasem's American Top 40 every weekend. I always had to keep up on what music was hot. I used to also visit Tower Records and grab a fresh issue of Billboard magazine to check out the Hot 100 singles and the Top 200 Album charts. I loved reading these charts - and to this day - every Thursday I visit Billboard.com to check out these same charts as I've done since I was 13.

Now having said that - I'm aware that "popular" music doesn't equal "good" music or "critically acclaimed" music. My tastes in music have always been mainstream. I guess because mainstream is usually what I'm being fed on the radio so that's been my diet.

And I've noticed that as I get older, music seems to be playing a less and less important role in my life. In fact, I don't really feel that I've ever really gone out seeking new music in a way that so many others do. I'm always fascinated scrolling through someone's iPod and seeing tons of artists of whom I've never heard.

But today - I really felt old.

I was snooping around the web and came across a webpage/blog that had various lists...Top 100 albums of the 1970s, etc. I decided to check out the Top 100 Albums of 2007. Just last year. Well, needless to say, i recognized like only two artists' names and I'd heard of (or heard) NONE of the albums. Damn!

Made me realize how out of it I am but more significantly I felt as though I've been missing out on a bunch of great music. I hate to admit it but I don't even really know who Radiohead is. I've heard the name but couldn't tell you any of their music. Boom told me that "In Rainbows" is amazing and was ranked #4 on this Top 50 list. So he's going to burn me the CD so I can do some new music research.

I wish I had the time to really investigate more of these other albums. I'm sure there's some amazing stuff out there that, unless it's being fed to me, I just haven't been eating. I'm excited to listen to the Radiohead CD. And as I seek exposure to more new music, I have high hopes that I'm going to discover something that really touches me profoundly. I guess that won't necessarily make me feel young again... but maybe feeling old wasn't actually what I was feeling in the first place. I think I was feeling more left out. Feeling as though there is this orbit that's happening that other people are a part of - and I've been just beyond its reach.

Pitchfork's Top 50 Albums of 2007
How many do you know or own?
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/feature/47446-top-50-albums-of-2007

Friday, August 15, 2008

Simon Cowell can SUCK IT!

While in Palm Springs, I'm staying with my oldest and closest friend, Dan. We've been friends since we were 5. We grew up on the same street and have been basically brothers our whole lives. So it's been great to get some time to hang out. It's been almost 1 year since I've been here, so it was overdue.


When we're together we always want to be silly. It's a good thing. Dan is a game-ophile so he's got every gaming system under the sun. We were feeling the need to sing, so he put in American Idol Karaoke and we spent 2 hours singing. We sang easy songs but had the most fun singing the harder ones. What's a hard song, you ask? Bohemian Rhapsody. We laughed our asses off when we got to the "I'm a just little silhouette of a man. Scaramouch! Scaramouch! Will you do the fandango!"


We pulled out our highest, and screechiest, falsetto voices and i started tip-toe dancing around the living room as if I was a "little silhouette of a man" and then we started busting up. Super good time.
We ended up singing like 15 songs. But, one stood out as our favorite. When we were 16, we used to drive around in Dan's red Mazda RX-7 and blast "Come Sail Away" by Styx and sing it at the TOP of our lungs. So imagine our delight that this song was in the game. We warmed up with some other songs to get ready but after our throats were warmed up - we busted out "Come Sail Away". Perfect.
Good to know that no matter how old we get -we can still be the silly kids we were - whenever we get together. I guess that's part of the magic of why we're still friends - still brothers.

Mamma Mia! Holy Moly! Oi Vey! Ay Carumba! OMG!

I really don't know where to begin. I'm all a-fluster with commentary I'm literally busting out of my skin.

Now let me start by saying 2 things. First of all, I never saw the stage production so I'm judging this solely on it as a movie - not an adaptation - so I'm not giving it any pity points. Secondly, I absolutely walked into the theater with a bevy of warnings... "Just go see it and have fun," "Don't expect much," "Just enjoy how much fun they're having." I had also seen Roper & Ebert's review on it... so trust me... I wasn't expecting "CHICAGO" or anything that sophisticated. So I did. I really walked in assuming it wouldn't be great but it's ABBA music in Greece... so fun music and great scenery. That didn't disappoint. It was ABBA music and it was great scenery.

I'll start on a positive, since they are few and easy to mention so we get on with the serious dishing.

The single, best part of this movie is Amanda Seyfried. She's enchanting, believable, and j'adorable. She lights up every scene she's in and she can actually sing.

The other enchanting part of this movie is the setting/scenery. The country of Greece should have received top billing in this film - because it sure delivered a spectacular performance in every scene in which it appears.

Everyone else in this movie is - well - atrocious. I think the biggest problem was that it was poorly cast. Most of this movie's problems fall from this simple fact. The leads - including Meryl Streep - are incapable of doing what most performers need to do in a musical - sing and dance well.

Meryl (luv you to death but come on...) is about 15 years too old for this part. She delivers some very tender moments, one of which did make me cry, but for the most part, she should NOT have been in this movie. And many times during the movie, she sounded drunk - slurring her speech. Maybe that was the only way she could tolerate getting through this abomination.

The rest of the leads, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth, Christine Baranski, Julie Waters, and Something Sarsgaard were nothing short of awkward, overacting, and bothersome. The standout crappiest singer is Pierce. Who did you blow to get this role? Why were you even considered? Why did you even audition? And towards the end of the movie, Colin Firth's portrayal actually started to offend me. Don't want to give anything away - so I'll stop there - but I wanted to shoot a paintball at him towards the end of the film.

The dancing scenes were so awkward that I actually burst out laughing more than once. One was so ridiculous that I snorted. You'll know it when you see it. And you will laugh too, I promise.

Overall - this entire movie felt as though they filmed the rehearsals and decided to just use that footage. The movie felt unprofessionally executed and, at times, extremely amateur.

I could go on and on - and it may seem that I already have - but if you've seen it and disagree with me - happy to debate. Or if you agree with me - happy to dish.

I will say this - I do give it HUGE points for providing me blog material.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The patron saint of the incontinent

Today I drove down to the desert, but not until after first swinging by Santa Monica to have lunch with Chant, Wilma and Hank... cuz that's how I roll. I swing by LA... I know, I'm pimp.

I sauntered into Santa Monica just about noon and we grabbed a quick bite a local diner/cafe. After a quick trip to Starbucks and then picking up a REXY new pair of Puma sneaks, it was time to get back on the road and head out to Palm Desert.

But first I had to make a quick pit stop at the restroom of this totes pimp McDonald's. Let me set the stage for this McDonald's. Hardwood trim. Plasma TV screens abound. Pretty stylin. So I walked into the stall expecting to find a fairly pimpin' restroom. Well the amenities didn't disappoint, but what I wasn't so impressed with was the plotch of diarrhea left on the bathroom floor of the stall. YES. A plotch of shit.

I began to analyze the potential scenarios that might render such a result. THE only fathomable explanation I can tolerate is that a father was changing his baby's diaper and while his head was turned to sneeze, the baby pushed out a plotch, on the sly.

Any other scenario is unacceptable. Period. Full stop.

Of course, when I entered, I was the only one in the restroom. Now there were a pair of feet just outside the door...waiting for the stall. WHAT WILL HE THINK? I'll tell you... he will think I did it. So... the highlight of my roadtrip to Palm Desert was having to wipe up baby shit [I pray] off the ground to protect my own personal brand from being soiled [wink]. Why I would care what a stranger would think... but obviously I did... cuz I did.

You've never seen SUCH a wadded fistful of toiletpaper in your life. The poor plumbing. Sorry pipes. Choke away cuz unless there were 64-plies of paper tween me and plotch, it wasn't gonna happen.

So thank you Santa Monica, for getting the "Holy Shit" award of the day. Other than that - had a super fun - yet quick - impromptu lunch with my posse in LA. Fo' shizzle...

I took a picture of the plotch, for in-person storytelling shock value. Notice I've spared you all the misery. How caring am I? When will I be anointed a saint? What would I be the patron saint of? I'll leave that up to the peanut gallery of comments. Have at it!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Headed to the Desert...in August. Who am I?

My client workload was super light this week due to shifting client dates - so my boss told me that I could take 3 days of PTO to fill out the rest of the week. So what do i do? Stay home and nest and relax? Um... no. I'm jumping in the car tomorrow morning and driving to Palm Springs to hang out with my friend Dan, Shilo, Kevin, Jason, and Ashley.

I know...I know... it's like 105 degrees there. Yikes! But I haven't been there in quite a while so it will be nice to visit them. I picked up 2 audiobooks to keep me company on the drive down.

ROADTRIP!!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Anything but Lazy

This past weekend was a whirlwind. It was Lazy Bear up at Guerneville (Russian River) and I was lucky enough to stay with a great group of guys right in town. Let me back up by saying that I haven't been to Lazy Bear in 3 years. 2005 was the last time I was there. I had gone for 4 consecutive years and although I always had fun, it started to become a bit routine - so I thought putting some time between me and the lazies would reinvigorate the experience. And it did.

I was only at Lazy Bear for a whopping 42 hours but they were fun filled and action packed. Immediately after my arrival at 8pm, me and my housemates, Fred, Donovan, and the 3 Scotts (Barney, Stauffer, and Shouse) all got ready for the big Bearacuda underwear party. I had a cute pear of GAP boxers all ready to wear. As we were getting ready, Donovan and Scott Barney decided to start dancing out on the deck and getting us all in the mood for the big dance.













We were the first people to arrive at the dance so we stood by the entrance and welcomed the troops as they entered. It was fun. I ran into a guy I met on the Mexican Riveria cruise and he was sweet enough to give me a free BearTag. That saved me $110! So nice of him. We danced and sweat the night away. My entire posse of friends was there so it made for a really fun evening. I cut out around 2am on the hunt for a late night snack. I trekked over to Safeway and bought a big container of fried chicken, a 7-layer mexican dip and a bag of tortilla chips. I couldn't wait for the walk all the way back to the cabin, so in true bear fashion I scarfed down 3 pieces of chicken while walking, irreverently tossing chicken bones into the bushes. Grrrr.

6 hours of Saturday were spent by the pool with Andy, Diego, Gabe, Boom, and a host of others at the West Sonoma Inn. What a great day. $2 ice cold beers all day and a ton of nice people. Nuf said.
































After a little disco nap, we all headed over to Yamagata's to listen to Dickie spin. What an amazing set. He really got us all dancing! It was great. But then he set ended and a horrible DJ took over, killed the mood, and drove us all out of the bar. Andy, Diego, and I headed over to Matt Duke and Gabe's place for an impromptu house party. There was 7 of us enjoying the hot tub [al fresco ;-)] and then a tribe of campers decided to join our party so we quickly killed the hot-tub party and hiked ourselves out to get dressed and entertain them. A few more friends trickled in and we had ourselves a nice little house party that lasted into the wee hours of the morn.

Sunday was a short day for Davey. I had only a few hours to hang out at the "Sunday, Bloody Sunday" party held at an abandoned estate. The grounds were amazing, filled with giant pool toys, a faux waterfall, 3 bars, and 700 of my closest friends. Fred and Donovan had brought a canopy (bless you) which soon became hang-out central for our extended posse. I ran into some people that I had just met in Provincetown and we were able to exchange numbers with promises of getting together back in SF.























So - the name is a misnomer. This weekend was anything but lazy - but I wouldn't have had it ANY other way. I'm so glad I stayed with Fred/Donovan and the Scotts. It was great to spend some quality time with them - as it doesn't happen nearly enough. I'm reinvigorated about Lazy Bear and anxious to go next year but this time for a bit longer than 42 hours. But I'll take 42 fun hours over many more mediocre ones.