Making the most of something I like the least

Yesterday I went to Santa Cruz with my family to celebrate my Dad's birthday. The weather was amazing and the beach was packed. For all those that don't know me too well, sitting in the sun on a beach for hours ranks just above having stitches removed from my ballsack.

And I wasn't too interested in swimming in the ocean due to the recent report of a man getting killed by a shark down the coast. So I sat there thinking to myself... hmmm... this day is gonna SUCK. But then I saw that my sister-in-law had brought a bunch of my nieces' sand toys (plastic forms and shovels). So I did what any self-respecting gay man would've done... I rebuilt the grand Aztec civilization, Teotihuacan, The Temple City for the Feathered Serpent "Quetzalcoatl" out of sand... duh!

The architect in me demanded perfect symmetry. Balance and harmony were strategic design underpinnings and guided my every decision. I ruled over my family with an iron fist and a long whip as they tended to filling the endless sand forms. I quickly referred to my workerbees as "sanddabbers"... they responded well to the humiliation.
















When we finished our sand tribute to the great feathered serpent, the gods frowned on us and threatened the survival of our civilization by angering the seas around us. As the tide came in, it was evident that quite soon our civilization would be destroyed. So I put the sanddabbers back to work and had them break backs to construct a wall and moat around our city to help endure our way of life.

















But, alas, the anger of the gods was too strong for our good intentions. Within 30 minutes the mighty sea eventually wiped away thousands of years and countless lives. When all hope was lost, and the last temple stood standing...we did what all advanced societies do. We saluted, we cried, we prayed...and then we sat back down, cracked a Coors Light, and ate Kettle Corn.