Sunday Funny Sunday

So this morning I was sitting at Starbuck's waiting for Pandy to show up... and there was a guy there with a cockatoo on his shoulder. The bird was crawling around his owner's arm, bobbing his head back and forth.

Then in classic bird voice the bird said "Hello..."

Then it said, "How are you?"

I looked over and smiled at the owner, entertained by the bird's chit chat.

Then the bird said, "Oh no, you shouldn't smoke. It will aggravate your asthma."

WHAT?!?!?!?!?! I did a double-take and then noticed that two people over to my left, there was an elderly Japanese woman talking on her cell phone - it was her the whole time...she sounded JUST like that god damn bird. Then the owner of the bird walked the cockatoo over to the curb...the bird lifted it's tail feather and shot a stream of bird shit right into the street. The owner kissed the bird on the beak and said "Good poopies!" I totally started laughing outloud to myself. And then I was annoyed that he let his bird shit in the street like that without picking it up. LOL...

Then tonight, at my parents' house, the whole family was playing a card game that is similar to scrabble. You get cards with letters on them and you have to assemble the cards to make words.

Well, it was my turn and in my hand were the letters Q U E F R. My 8-yr old niece looks over my shoulder to peek at my cards to help me form a word. She quickly blurts out "QUEEF!"... "QUEEF!"..."Uncle Dave...QUEEF!"

Well I start laughing my ass off, my sister-in-law starts laughing...then my Dad starts laughing...to which my Mom says "Why is that funny? What's a queef?"

So then me and my sister-in-law start laughing even harder. My niece continues to blurt out the word "QUEEF." I can't correct her that I actually don't have the letters to spell it - cuz I'm laughing so hard by now that I'm completely inaudible. My dad leans over and whispers the definition in my Mom's ear. She giggled quickly and then said "Alright, let's play the game!" The funny part is, I was so curious as to how my dad defined that to my Mom... did he get it right? Did he say "It's a pussy fart"? I'm dying to know but I could never ask him.

So I had 2 good laughs today. Thanks, Sunday!