It's funny to be so nervous about something. It's one part exhilaration, one part perspiratio. I know I'm 42 and an adult but I have to admit that in this moment, I feel like a teen/twenties again. Not from a "oh how youthful I feel" but more from a reminiscent feeling of youth.
This weekend I'm flying to Harrisburg to meet Matt's family and friends. I'm nervous about a few things. Of course, the obvious is "Will they like me?". I know that's silly but it is a concern. Although he's open to his parents and they've met his previous partner, it's still a big moment - especially since we don't live close to them AND I'm staying at their house. So this isn't like a meet-n-greet casual dinner and then back home. This is 4 days of staying with them - so it's gonna be lashes set to "charming" for 96 hours! I know it will all be fine - and I'll love them and they'll love me... blah blah blah... but it doesn't change the fact that these nerves are present - and I fear any awkward silences... GAWD I hate the awkward silence. I'll probably just go into Super-chatty mode - which I also need to be conscious of so as not to turn them off...that can be equally as annoying as awkward silences.
One blessing is that Tress, one of Matt's best friends that I'm close with, will also be in Harrisburg staying with us at his parents, so there will be some comic relief as they have known Tress for some time and also adore him. And having him there too will really ease things for me.
Other shining stars are that I've met 2 other dear friends of his that live back there - Lika and Jesse. As long time family friends of Matt's, it's also nice to know there will be familiar faces to see.
The other part I'm nervous about is being a big soggy mess. It'll be August in Pennsylvania...that translates to muggy and hot. Not this bear's best microclimate. Other than trapping myself indoors surrounded by central air, I'm sure we'll need to leave the sanctuary and venture into the swampy outdoors and into a steamy car...enough times for me to be soaked and stinky. That'll impress 'em!
My last nerve-making issue is "Keeping up with the Grigoryans". You see, I've been fairwarned that doing vodka shots is a common occurence during meals to celebrate visitors...a holiday...oxygen... so I'm really nervous about being able to keep up and not accidentally hurl smoked salmon all over my new mother-in-law. "Oh Matt...he's just deLIGHTful!" Matt said he'll teach me how to say "half-size please" in Russian so they'll pour me smaller shots, but I'm sure that translates into "Big pussy here" and I don't want to embarass Matt to his family.
I'll be thankful for three things:
1. I hit it off with his family and friends
2. The humidity and heat don't melt me
3. I pack Advil
Stay tuned for the post-trip report.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Baby make? Good baby.
Funny how when we're infants, the grandest thing you can do to receive acclaim is poop your pants. Unveiling a hot and heavy steamer in the nest of a diaper is a treasure chest when you're at the pacifier stage.
Not so much when you're 42.
Last week I was suffering from the onset of a severe stomach flu or food poisoning. I tried coming to work but was exhausted and dehydrated from my hours on the throne. I crawled into the backseat of my car to grab a quick catnap to help invigorate me.
When I awoke, I felt another rumble in the Bronx, sat up in the car, and headed towards the public restroom in our office complex. On the way...I sensed something running down the back of my thigh. I stopped. Touched my ass. And, yes, to my chagrin my entire backside was soaked with my sick.
I then had to walk through the office complex courtyard where people lounged to get to the restroom. Interject "MORTIFIED" look on my face when I got to the restroom and pulled off my jeans. OH EM GEE!!
I basically had to bathe myself, toss the "treasure chest" into the garbage can, and get to my parent's house which was only 7 miles from work. But the worse part was that I had to put those NASTY WET jeans back on to get back to my car.
I did, and hurried back through the complex courtyard, pivoting by passer-bys pretending to talk on my cell phone so I could keep my front to everyone. So stealth.
When I got to my car, I realized I couldn't sit on the seat, so I took off my pants in the parking garage, and planned to drive naked to my parent's. But this journey is not over. I sat in the car only to be welcomed to the stench that I had just left behind in the bathroom. I turn around and see a wet spot on the backseat. I guess when I sat up from my nap - that's when it occurred. I quickly put those nasty jeans back on, ran around to the back and soaked the seat with water from my gym bottle...and scrubbed fast and furious in my best Joan Crawford because I truly was MAD AT THE DIRT.
I got naked once again, crawled into the driver seat and drove to my parents house. It was so weird to drive naked from the waist down. OK, it was a little exciting. Got to parent's house, had to put those damn jeans back on again to get into the house. Once in, I crawled into bed to sleep the adventure away.
Precious.
Not so much when you're 42.
Last week I was suffering from the onset of a severe stomach flu or food poisoning. I tried coming to work but was exhausted and dehydrated from my hours on the throne. I crawled into the backseat of my car to grab a quick catnap to help invigorate me.
When I awoke, I felt another rumble in the Bronx, sat up in the car, and headed towards the public restroom in our office complex. On the way...I sensed something running down the back of my thigh. I stopped. Touched my ass. And, yes, to my chagrin my entire backside was soaked with my sick.
I then had to walk through the office complex courtyard where people lounged to get to the restroom. Interject "MORTIFIED" look on my face when I got to the restroom and pulled off my jeans. OH EM GEE!!
I basically had to bathe myself, toss the "treasure chest" into the garbage can, and get to my parent's house which was only 7 miles from work. But the worse part was that I had to put those NASTY WET jeans back on to get back to my car.
I did, and hurried back through the complex courtyard, pivoting by passer-bys pretending to talk on my cell phone so I could keep my front to everyone. So stealth.
When I got to my car, I realized I couldn't sit on the seat, so I took off my pants in the parking garage, and planned to drive naked to my parent's. But this journey is not over. I sat in the car only to be welcomed to the stench that I had just left behind in the bathroom. I turn around and see a wet spot on the backseat. I guess when I sat up from my nap - that's when it occurred. I quickly put those nasty jeans back on, ran around to the back and soaked the seat with water from my gym bottle...and scrubbed fast and furious in my best Joan Crawford because I truly was MAD AT THE DIRT.
I got naked once again, crawled into the driver seat and drove to my parents house. It was so weird to drive naked from the waist down. OK, it was a little exciting. Got to parent's house, had to put those damn jeans back on again to get into the house. Once in, I crawled into bed to sleep the adventure away.
Precious.
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