Private thoughts and public nudity

I haven't really had much to share lately on my blog. I'm finding my self editing in my head before I allow myself to write it down and post it here. There's a bunch of stuff on my mind - and as much as I wish I could use this blog as a forum for me to share my thoughts... I just can't.

The thoughts, feelings, emotions that I'd really like to just spew - I can't allow myself the opportunity to do it in this venue. It's too exposing. Too vulnerable. I really wish I could. I give big props to those that can. Those that can bear all and expose a shocking or personal issue. Write it up and send it out there into the ether. That must feel really great. I think I'd have to equate it with public nudity.

I have so much respect for people who can be naked in public. Really - even just people that are totally comfortable hanging out with their shirt off. I envy that personal freedom. I think the public opinion is what I'm concerned with. The funny thing is - I LOVE it when people can express themselves so freely and open. I thinks it's awesome. But taking my shirt off - or exposing some deep feelings or struggling emotions in this blog... are still a ways off for me. I'll share away with a close friend - verbally. But broadcasting it like this...hmmm...still too suspect of the medium and suspicious of the ultimate impact.

I've got a lot to say. To share. And although I want to let it flow, it's not in the cards right now - to write it on this blog. I guess with time, I'll feel more confident to share what I think - and not give a rat's who reads it. That day will feel great. And then the next day I'll walk down the street with my shirt off.

Until then... deep emotions stay either bottled up or spoken outloud. And the shirt stays buttoned up. Maybe just talking about all of this here is a step towards that state of nirvana. I hope so.