Covet

Every so often I get the itch for a new car. And, by every so often...I mean about every month. But the one thing that hasn't changed is what I want. I've wanted one of these (Infiniti G37) since it came out. It's just not in the cards right now, but I sure get a big ol' hard-on every time I see one.

Mr. Roboto Stayed Home, Thank God.

Last night, Styx , oh yes...Styx, the super-power, progressive-rock, megahit-machine, magic-making group from the 70-80s, performed for one night at the Mountain Winery up in Saratoga.

There were 3 original members on stage including Tommy Shaw who was one of the lead singer/songwriters. Dennis DeYoung, the falsetto singer, is in some sort of tiff with the band and and was not there - however - they luckily found another keyboard/singer who pretty much sounded exactly like him - so the night was still a success.

Most people remember Styx from their pop days from big Billboard hits like "Babe" and mainstream pop-rock songs their album Paradise Theatre. However, They were a really great rock group prior to their big pop success. Which is what made the concert great.

They played only 2 songs from Paradise Theatre, "Too Much Time on My Hands" and "Snowblind"... and the rest of the setlist was from music prior to this album. And they ROCKED. Tons of classic 70s guitar solos, power drums, and long hair. In fact, they didn't even play the song "Babe" or "The Best of Times" which now I'm glad - cuz they were too schmaltzy. They also avoided all Styx music AFTER Paradise Theater... and if any of you remember "Mr. Roboto" then you can understand why.

Most people don't know that Styx was actually formed back in 1961 under another name... changed to Styx and started releasing albums under that name in 1972. So they actually have quite a body of work that spans the entire 1970s. And you could tell their whole vibe during the concert was about getting back to those roots of being a "rock band".

Wow - just saw Boston a few months ago... and last night I saw Styx. I might just need to scalp a ticket for the Foreigner concert tonight....and I'm not kidding... they are playing tonight at the Mountain Winery. What? I'm just sayin...

Beer bust can be a drag

Well, it was another typical, hum-drum Sunday in SF. All I did was go to a Theatre Rhino Carol Channing Drag Contest Beer Bust Fundraiser. God...the city is boring ;-)

Quick clip of my fave performer from the eve.

I had the weirdest dream

I had this dream. I was giving a cocktail party for Yma Sumac, the Peruvian singer. This was odd, I mean I really like her singing, but I had never met Miss Sumac and even in a dream it seems strange that I would be giving her a party.

Anyway, she and I were alone in the living room of my place and we are getting along great. Laughing, talking, any minute other guests are expected. I have no idea though who any of them will be. So I have set out hors d'oeuvres all over the place and on one table I have put a bowl of gloog. The door bell rings, I open the door and there to my awe is Ava Gardner.

"Dahling" she says, "How nice of you to ask me." It's funny, cuz I don't know Ava Garnder either. In my dream, all my guests seem to know me very well, oddly though - none of them seem to know each other.

Anyway, I say "Miss Ava Gardner...I would like you to meet Miss Yma Sumac."
"Ah no, please," says Miss Sumac, "Let us not be so formal, por favor. Introduce each guest only by their first name, that way we all may become friends."
Fine with me, I think, so I introduce the two again.
"Ava...Yma."

The doorbell rings again, the second guest, Abba Eben, the Israeli foreign minister. I introduce him as Miss Sumac asks. I keep things on a first name basis.

"Abba...Yma, Abba...Ava." I start to grin, but no one finds anything amusing. The bell again...it's Oona O'Niel, Charlie Chaplin's wife. I bring her into the room.

"Oona...Yma, Oona...Ava, Oona...Abba."

We're all standing in a circle, smiling at each other, but no one is talking very much. The doorbell rings again. It's Ugo Betti, the Italian playwright. I bring him into the room.

"Ugo...Yma, Ugo...Ava, Ugo...Oona, Ugo...Abba." I quickly fill up everyone's glass of gloog. For some reason, I find myself hoping no other guests have been invited. The doorbell rings again. It's Ida Lapino, the actress, and Ulu Grossbard, the movie director.

I say, "Ida and Ulu, surely you know Yma and Ava. Ida, Ulu...Oona, Abba. Ida, Ulu...Ugo."

Please let there be more guests I said to myself. But the doorbell rings again. Everybody stands stony-faced as I usher in the new arrival. The Aga Khan.

"Folks, I guess you all know the Aga Khan." But there is a dead silence, and I must introduce him.

"Aga...Yma, Ava, Ida, Ulu, Abba, Ugo, Oona." I quickly suggest a game of Charades. They all say no. I ask Miss Sumac to sing for us, she refuses. I begin to wish I have never thrown this party. The doorbell rings and more guests arrive. Three more at the door. Mia Farrow, Pia Zadora, and Gia Scalla.

"Mia, Pia, Gia...Yma, Ava, Oona. Mia, Pia, Gia...Ida, Abba, Ugo, Aga, Ulu." I turn to see if this has made Miss Sumac happy. She ignores me. This is a terrible party. We're all standing in a circle glaring at each other. I begin to feel oddly hemmed in, like a man about to be stoned to death.

"Am I late?" asks Uta Hagen, the actress....breezing in without ringing the doorbell.
"No, of course not." I say.
"Please have the common decency to introduce your guest to one another," says Yma Sumac, angrily. I've begun to hate her.
"OK, OK!" I say. I take a deep breath.
"Uta...Yma, Uta...Ava, Uta...Oona, Uta...Ida, Uta...Mia, Uta...Pia, Uta...Gia, Uta...Ugo, Uta...Aga, Uta...Abba, Uta...Ulu."

And then I woke up. Weird.

My Dirty Little Secret...EXPOSED

It appears my attempts to keep my dark secret buried have failed. Yes... it's true... I'm a hard-core, red-state, tax-break, war-loving, gay-hating REPUBLICAN. If you don't believe me, just follow these simple instructions:

STEP 1: If you are a member of Facebook, log on.
STEP 2: In the search field in the upper-righthand corner, enter the name "John McCain"
STEP 3: See the results

LOL... WTF???

Facebook has some serious algorithm issues with their search engine. I mean - seriously - Top 5 result for a "John McCain" search? Of all the hundreds of thousands of people on Facebook...that probably have the name John...or McCain...or John McCain... and good ol Dave DeFranco comes up because I have "Edwin McCain" and "John Grisham" listed in my FAVORITES section of my profile.

I like how they can accurately recommend a friend that I should know...but their search engine can't add a layer of relevance to know that I shouldn't be coming up in the Top 5 results for John McCain...

Spectacuamazincredibreathtaking

My friend Fonzie recently went on a month-long solo camping adventure through Iceland. His pictures are nothing short of amazing and will leave you speechless to the incredible beauty that is Iceland...the likes of which I was unaware.

Prepare to be blown away by its natural awe and the sharp eye that took these.

Kudos Fonzie for leaving a lasting impression on me through the most amazing adventure you've ever experienced.

Click here to witness a place like no other - through some of the most spectacular photos I've ever seen.

This is how you know if your weatherman is gay

Grrrr to the last drop

Funny IM exchange I had with Boom today... not for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution.

...and so I did

A Star-studded Cast of Studs

Gabe Zichermann blew through town this week for a few conferences. We got together last night at this teeny tiny Vietnamese placed called Tu Lan. The prices are from 1986 and the food was awesome. The two of us had two orders of the most amazing deep-fried pork rolls and we each had an entree for a grand total of $20. Right in downtown SF. Crazy! I mean, it is at the corner of Meth and Murder...but still.

Gabe, Andy, and I then took off to the Stro for $2 Tuesdays at 440. Then it was awesome as every new entry in the pub was someone we knew... Vinny Daloia, Paul Gilea...then Gabe Garcia...then Boom...then Alex... it was a nice eve. Too bad Gabe could only stay for a beer and then was off to join another group of friends.

I love it when nights like this just work out! Makes living in SF a delight.

WTF?

I just found this Jar Jar Binks pencil on my desk... really... I have NO idea how this got in the office...or into my Princess Amidala pen jar...

The Sopresetta Caper

My friend Steph sent me a link to a story that was in the PressDemocrat yesterday. This is priceless. The burglar was rubbing spices on the body of one sleeping man before striking another with a sausage. Really? Rubbing spices? Everyone knows you should brine your victims. Dry-rubs were SO 1998...duh...

Man struck by sausage, but evidence eaten

By LOUIS GALVAN
McCLATCHY NEWSPAPERS

Published: Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 4:30 a.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, September 7, 2008 at 3:45 a.m.

FRESNO -- A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he ran out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.

Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.

Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.

"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.

Arrested was Antonio Vasquez, 22, of Fresno.

Burrimond said deputies were dispatched to the victims' home shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.

The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.

Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.

After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.

Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.

"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said. "I tell you, this was one weird case."

Here's the link to the article, if you don't believe me. You just can't make this shit up.

N64 now 0vodk twatdr etching distorting

The heatwave in SF continues and I was out last night with friends for a few beers til about midnight. Just about the same time, down in LA, Chant, Wilma, and Andrew just headed out to a club in downtown LA called "Shits n Giggles"... here's part 2 in one of my favorite new series called "Drunk Texting from Chant".

(Actual transcript)

Chant: bitches
Me: What up pimp daddy?

Chant: making money downtown LA. not going well
Me: LOL u at shits n giggles still? I'm at 440 with the gang.

Chant: Tell them i paged hellmy. walking to sigur and giggles.
Me: You mean "tell them I said hello"? Or tell them you paged hellmy? LOL I see the drunk texting has started. Awesome.

Chant: U font know off lol
Me: Oh pleeze... not only do I know you...I'm over here translating ur drunk texts for everyone else...lol have a blast!

Chant: Pro so i'm piettx mvaai done lol with two drinks ho my hand
Me: I'd say so. LOL. U having fun at shits n giggles?

Chant: Gonz did u knowy galw i was trying to ray
Me: I did...c I know u! G'night chant. Hugz, rex

Chant: Lol find now we're wat they lower level dancing to house nutspga. home might

Chant: N64 now 0vodk twatdr etching distorting

Chant: sorryo if thigp woke u up doffcommitt

Chant: Shoeo sho shge shaw show shi sheow shuoeh

THAT LAST ONE IS MY FAVORITE.... my guess is at this point, Chant is walking on a bridge over the highway and is trying to communicate how the noises from the highway sound like the Mandarin language (no seriously...I'd bet MONEY that's what this text was about)

Keep up the good work, Chant! Always entertaining...