Here He Comes...Miss Sogyny!

While at the doctor's office this morning, one of the office workers, a buzz-cut butch-ass lesbian, was passionately (and loudly) complaining about how during a recent debate between Hilary and Barak, two men in the audience were yelling "IRON MY SHIRT!" during Hilary's responses.

This enraged woman was screaming "In America, racism is far closer to being dead than misogyny." I didn't really get her point at first. But then she said, "If two white men had yelled 'SHINE MY SHOES!' during Barak's response time, the media would have jumped all over that and it would have become a huge public issue. America gets enraged by racial improprieties - but doesn't go anywhere near misogynistic ones. "

Kudos to her. That's was an excellent point. And I absolutely agree with her. It is a shame that it wasn't made an issue in defense of Hilary and all women. In a male dominated world (Earth in general - not to mention politics), it's a shame that behavior was tolerated.

Once she realized how loud she was, she looked around in a bit of embarrassment to realize the entire waiting room could hear her behind the closed glass wall. When we caught eyes with each other through the glass, I gave her a big thumbs up. She smiled. I smiled. And in that moment - I really, truly understood for the first time what misogyny is, how it can hurt, and felt bad if I've ever demonstrated any of that behavior during my life.

iThink iMight. Actually, iReally think iWill.

iHave been contemplating turning in my hand-crank Nokia phone (you know, the free one that comes shrink-wrapped to the service plan) for some time now. iThink it would be cool to have access to the web, maps, and my personal email. So iHad given in to the fact that iWould probably be getting a Crackberry Pearl or Curve to stick with t-Mobile. But as iReview those, and hold them in my hand, iCan't help but compare it to the experience iHave when iPlay with someone's iPhone. So... iThink iWill just bite the bullet, pay the $175 termination fee to leave t-Mobile - so iCan iPhone.

iMay do it this weekend. We'll see. If iDon't get the iPhone soon, iFear that iWill be forced to write like this forever. iHope for your sake, iDo.

Weekend in Los Angeles

It was Andy's birthday on Thursday so to celebrate, Andy, Diego, and I flew down to LA to visit our friends Wilma & Andrew. Wilma and Andrew threw a cocktail party at their place on Friday night in honor of Andy's birthday. We all got trashed and had a great time. But the big moment was Saturday morning when Matt (Chant) who wasn't able to come with us due to his new job - surprised us all and showed up on Wilma/Andrew's door step at 10am. Matt is Andy's best friend - so Andy was SOOOO excited. It really changed the whole weekend for the better. We were all so happy to see him. This is a pic of Matt surprising Will/Andrew while they were still in bed. Such a great moment!

















Saturday was a mellow day. We enjoyed some local Mexican fare for lunch and had a great time.































and then played games until it was time to head to the Eagle for "Meat Rack", a once-a-month bear party. It was packed at the Rack. Met up with White Will and Brian, and my friend John Forest and his friend Johnny too. We had a real good time being fresh meat.

Being gay is great. Pretending to be straight is better.

First off - thanks to Eric for these pics. A picture equals a thousand words. So, thanks to Eric my blog entry will be 2,000 words shorter than if I had to explain this campaign.

So, for those of you who don't use the Castro Metro Station, let me explain. What you see is a new billboard campaign for the online matchmaking service, PartnerforLife.com. And when I say campaign - I mean it. They've blanketed the the station walls with no less than 14 unique billboards - all playing off the idea that being a careless, sex-crazed man pig is great. But really, being in love, committed, and partnered is better. Now... I have no argument with the latter half of the equation. I do seek to be in love and partnered so I take no offense - and when I first saw the campaign, I liked it. But I figured out what I really liked was the fact that they went balls-to-the-wall and created ~14 unique billboards and posted them all in the same place. That's marketing coverage.

But the more and more I saw these ads, the more I became a little annoyed that they felt the need to be pejorative for the population of gay men that are active. Why must these things be mutually exclusive? Why can't "Dick" and having mom meet Richard both be GREAT. The campaign goes on and on like this. It starts to feel a little preachy, like "Hey Faggots! Stop having recreational sex and get married like the straights."

So, in the spirit of being bitchy and sassy, I decided to write a few headlines for the next wave of their campaign. Free of charge. Cuz that's how I roll. Enjoy

Fisting is great.
Holding hands is better.

Lovebutter in the stomach is great.
Butterflies in the belly are better.

"Call me" is great.
"Marry me" is better.

Morning ass is great.
Breakfast in bed is better.

Swinging from his cock is great.
Swinging on the porch is better.

Up to the forearm is great.
Up to the lakehouse is better.

Jungle juice is great.
Jungle love is better.

Nipple play is great.
Dinner and a play are better.

STDs are great.
FTD is better.

Mind-blowing penetration is great.
Never-ending conversation is better.

The other fun thing I found out is that the PartnerforLife.com site is hosting a contest for their next billboard ad. You can submit your headlines to win an iPod. I submitted a few of the above... LOL. Not holding my breath to win - but waiting for the nasty email response.

http://www.partnerforlife.com/ads-contests.html

Magic Wand

I really hate it when people around me are feeling shitty and there's nothing I can do. I've heard one school of thought that says you're not actually supposed to try to do anything. Just be present. Whatever they're going through is nothing I can change anyway - so all I can offer is to be present in anyway they want. That's a tough order for a project manager like myself who wants to have a solution for whatever the situation requires. I'd prefer to have a magic wand that I can wave to solve the woes around me. But deep down I know it's true that being present is all I can offer. So to anyone in my world who needs nothing more than a good friend to be present for you. That's, well, my present to you. I'm here.

The smartest and funniest person I know

Who's the smartest person you know? Which one of your friends is the person that actually has valid and considerable knowledge about topics that span politics, business, travel, religion, history, culture, and human nature? They are the person who's opinion you can inextricably trust because it's always based on the fact that they, well, have the facts. And who is that friend of yours that can make you laugh so hard you actually pee a little? For me, it's the same person...my friend Gabe Zichermann.

At only 33, Gabe has already chocked up stellar career titles such as Vice-President and CMO. And most currently he is the founder and CEO of his own brain child...an online business called www.rmbr.com. He was thinking to himself one day that people should be able to use their photos to create an evolving memory with an online community of friends. And if Gabe decides that the idea is viable... it is. And it was. He put his idea into motion, connected with other smart people, and built the technology required to execute his vision. He took it from idea to www.rmbr.com LIVE in 10 months. Do you see what I mean? It took me 10 months to find a nice pair of nightstands for my bedroom.

When I'm around Gabe I can't help but be in a constant state of aw. Because not only do I always learn something from him, but his talon tongue and savvy sense of humor makes for the funniest person I've ever met. Gabe can take the most banal of topics and flip it around, instantaneously, and turn it into a monologue that'll have you laughing so hard, you become inaudible.

Having someone in my life that can make me both think AND laugh is such a blessing. But in addition to his brilliance - he's, at the core, a caregiver. He TRULY involves himself in your life, he cares about your personal satisfaction - your goals, your dreams, your fears, and your guilty pleasures. He has been THE single most encouraging person with my secret little fantasy of being a playwrite or a TV writer. So encouraging to the point where he seems more invested in my dream than me. Which IS the sweetest part of Gabe. And which is making me tear up right now as I write this.

I'm thinking about him because he's sitting next to me right now. He's visiting from NYC and staying with me for a few days. As I sit here, I can't help but feel so excited that someone I respect and revere is such a big part of my life.

Gabe's the kind of person that I wish would be President. He'd solve the healthcare crisis, poverty, and get Kim Jong to admit he likes ass play. If he can accomplish so much by the young age of 33... he can accomplish anything he wants. I'm sure of it and I can't wait to see what it is. If you don't believe me, just Google "Gabe Zichermann" and see for yourself. And yes, every result you see, for pages and pages, are actually HIM. He's important. He's smart. He's funny...and he's my friend. :-)

Hallmark, FTD, Nestle, and Gillette

I know many people get annoyed that Valentine's Day is a holiday manufactured by the greeting card companies, candy giants, and florists. But I'm OK with it. If it took a little marketing oomph and capitalism to get people to take a day out of their busy lives to express a little love to their special person, close friends, or a new interest - then I'm all for it. How can we be bitter about a day that's just trying to get people to share and spread a little love. I'm all for it.

Now, I think I'm supposed to cut vertically... up the forearm, right?

New Year's Eve AND an orgasm

Last night, went to probably the best concert I've ever been. I saw Mika - a new British singer who's first CD was one of my favorite CDs of the year. But the concert...OH MAN!

The venue was heaving with the most joyous energy I've ever felt. Mika's performance was incredible, with some fun stage production and cameo dancers. But I just can't describe the energy that was coming off of the crowd. It was palpable and contagious.
So glad I could share it with a great group of friends. And Chant got us all boas to wear - which definitely contributed to our vibe.

But the best part of the night was the encore/finale. He sang one of his bubblier songs called "Lollipop" and it started with everyone on stage dressed in fuzzie animal costumes like the ones that walk around at an amusement park. After they performed fornication moves on stage, the crowd was crazy excited and then during the last few minutes of the song, probably 50 large multi-colored balls appeared in the crowd - being tossed about. 2 cannons exploded with confetti for a good two minutes solid. Then two other cannons blasted streamers. The crowd went bizerk. I went bizerk.

At that moment I realized that the extreme joy and excitement I was feeling was what I'd always hoped the stoke midnight should feel like on New Year's Eve... while having an orgasm.

The Beach in February

The weather was SO amzing yesterday that I went to the beach with Jim and Matthew. They are avid kite fliers so we headed out to the beach in SF at Fort Funston. It was SOO amazing out, that I was in shorts and t-shirt walking on the beach in February - and I even got a little color on my face from the sun.

Unfortunately there wasn't enough wind to fly kites, but we enjoyed a nice long stroll up and down the shoreline, watching all the dogs running around. Dogs and the beach are like peanut butter and jelly. They just belong together. Watching a dog run at full steam along the shore is a true gem. They really are in their element. Seeing all the dogs really made me miss having one. One of these days.

Here's to more amazing weather in San Francisco for the rest of the winter and to doggies!

Bye, Bye, Miss Mathmatical Pi

I swear that I'm not as smart as I was when I was in high school. Back then, I was in the honors program taking Physics, Trigonometry, Calculus, Chemistry, and other -tries, -ologies, and -yses. Today...right this minute...can you figure out the circumference of a circle? I can't. Can you determine how long it will take a 30lb object to fall from 100 feet up? Not me. I did it with my eyes closed when I was in the 12th grade. But now? Forget it.

So, about 3 months ago I signed up to receive the SAT Question of the Day. I know, right? Why the hell would someone at 41 do that? I'm weird that way. I guess I wanted to test myself and determine if I've been able to retain any of the skills I busted my ass to learn so many years ago.

What have I learned? That my reading and writing skills are better than they were. And my math skills are in the crapper. Funny part was that when I originally took the SAT test, it was the opposite. I was a Math whiz and an average Joe at Grammar.

My first SAT question about math required me to "isolate a to determine x". Um...those are both letters...now, where are the letters on my calculator again?

Obviously it all comes down to muscle memory. We build and improve the things we do and use consistenly over time. I speak and write all day, every day. It's been a while since my boss asked my to determine the hypotenuse of a isosoles triangle. If she did, I'd smack her - then quit.

The scary realization was taking inventory of the other things I've become good at over the years from constant practice. The contents of that list, strangely enough, can't be publically published. But I can say that n=SUM[(fun+freedom)*friends+(gay*sanfrancisco)]/penicilin.

Lesson learned: Do more of the things you'd like to be better at. Ditch the rest. Goodbye pi.

If you're interested in receiving the SAT Question of the Day, go to this URL and sign-up.
http://apps.collegeboard.com/qotd/question.do